random thoughts
This weekend was so amazing
i love seeing ppl i havent seen in so long...
i love seeing rent live...
i love being able to drive with the windows rolled all the way down screaming the words to "my unhappy ending" at the top of my lungs with one of my best friends
i love feeling like i actually know stuff for bio
i love playing super smash brothers with friends
i love hugs that make everything that felt so shitty earlier get better
i hate that my mother feels that she can control my emotions and then when she cant absolutly bitches at me about it to no end
but i love that my friends are there for me and can make it compeltey better
i hate facing reality
i hate not knowing whats wrong with me but knowing that whatever it is will never be good enough for you
but i love the things in life that remind you
that tomarrow will always comes
its amazing how in one day you can feel surrounded by people yet so alone
and then feeling like sitting in a basemeant or a car or in a restraunt with friends makes everything in the world better
but its weird because at the end of the day
you look at yourself
and you realize that there is still something missing
and then you realize
there is absolutely nothing you can do about that except change who you are
but i dont know how to do that
its almost superficial
you can make yourself whatever you want on the outside
you can say whatever you want to try to fill the space
but the truth is
you know what you need
and you dont have it
the sex song in rent is absolutely amazing...i hadnt heard it until yesterday and it made me laugh
i love laughing
its almost as therapudic
as crying
i love seeing ppl i havent seen in so long...
i love seeing rent live...
i love being able to drive with the windows rolled all the way down screaming the words to "my unhappy ending" at the top of my lungs with one of my best friends
i love feeling like i actually know stuff for bio
i love playing super smash brothers with friends
i love hugs that make everything that felt so shitty earlier get better
i hate that my mother feels that she can control my emotions and then when she cant absolutly bitches at me about it to no end
but i love that my friends are there for me and can make it compeltey better
i hate facing reality
i hate not knowing whats wrong with me but knowing that whatever it is will never be good enough for you
but i love the things in life that remind you
that tomarrow will always comes
its amazing how in one day you can feel surrounded by people yet so alone
and then feeling like sitting in a basemeant or a car or in a restraunt with friends makes everything in the world better
but its weird because at the end of the day
you look at yourself
and you realize that there is still something missing
and then you realize
there is absolutely nothing you can do about that except change who you are
but i dont know how to do that
its almost superficial
you can make yourself whatever you want on the outside
you can say whatever you want to try to fill the space
but the truth is
you know what you need
and you dont have it
the sex song in rent is absolutely amazing...i hadnt heard it until yesterday and it made me laugh
i love laughing
its almost as therapudic
as crying