(no subject)
I want out... I want out NOW... I don't want to feel this way anymore... I don't want to be living this life anymore.. I don't want it... this is NOT me.. This is not Tiffany... Looking in the mirror, I see a girl.. but I don't recognize her.. she's torn apart.. fallen down.. there is so much pain behind her eyes.. I reach forward to touch her.. and my hand touches the glass... No, this cannot be my own reflection... No.. What is happening to me? Where is the enchanted faerie? The girl who has so much strength and power... the girl who can conquer the world.. no matter what is thrown at her, she stands strong, she is beautiful, and graceful.. she just spreads her wings and flies away... high above the madness of the world.. away from the hatred... far away from the pain and hurt.. She knows she is better than them... she never falls down... But I look at this girl in the mirror.. and I see that her wings are broken.. whatever has happened to them... whatever has happened to her.. has made it so that it hurts to spread her wings.. she has lost her joy... she is full of fear, and she has no will to fly... She has neglected herself.. This really is me.. I finally realize. But I refuse to be like this. For once in a really long time, I look to the sky.. "Goddess, can you hear me?".. I feel a warm sensation come over me... Ohh this glorious feeling... It's been so long... It was forbidden.. I was not allowed to speak with you.. I was told that my belief in you was childish.. and that my mouth was to be silenced on the subject of you... So instead of standing strong, I fell down. And I became inferior to the evil that lured over me... But I cannot blame anyone else for this Goddess, I know that only I am to blame. I am the one who got myself into this.. and I am the one who turned my back to you because of the evil.. I could have turned my back to it.. and not let it get to me.. but I didn't.. Instead I made the choice to listen to the evil, and push away all that was good in my life. And now I feel so weak.. I'm so sorry Goddess.. I hope that I have not disappointed you too much, I hope that there is still hope for me, and that I am not too lost. I am ready now Goddess, I'm sorry for everything... Would you please forgive me? Take my hand again? Show me the light, and lead me out of this dark forest I have become lost in...? Heal my wings, and allow me to fly again... up and out of my painful surroundings? Bring me back to the path I am supposed to walk upon...? Forgive me? Please... Oh Goddess... Bring me home..