i dont know
hwy whats up?not too much is going on with me. i dont know what to do anymore. i think that i have fucked everything up wiht everybody. i dont know what i did to my sisters, but now they both wont talk to me. and as soon as i walk into the room they stop talking and start laughing as if they were talking about me. and its really bugging me. also, with all the other shit going on inl my life, i thought i could at least count on my sisters, but i guess i was wrong.
also, susan says shes not mad at me anymore, but she sill refuses to talk to me. maybe its for the best. i know as soon as school ends, her and susan wont even bother ever calling me. so the friendship ends when school does.
i also hate it that kev talks to susan and shannon, cuz of several reasons. first of all, now that they both refuse to tlak to me, they decided to get back at me by telling kev things about themselves. and susan insists on talking to kev all the time now. and i dont know why he talks to her, cuz now she thinks i did something i didnt do. i give up on friends. there has only been 1 person in my life who has stayed my friend through all the bullshit and whatnot, and thats kaitie. and i love her to death for it.
and my relationship with kev.....who the fuck knows whats going to happen with this. hes mad at me, and he will be for a while. and he insists on remindind me of that everytime we talk on the phone or everytime i see him. i fucking love kev to death. and now, with susan talking to him and all the shit going on i am so afraid that its going to end. maybe its all in my head. but i have reason to think the way that i do. my longest relationship was 2 1/2 months. i expect it to end after that amount of time. so after a period of time, i just stop caring. why care if i am just going to get hurt. we all know thats wats going to happen. it always does. i just dont know anymore. the way susan and kevin are talking to me, they r both making t sound like kevin is planning on ending our relationship. i dont even know anymore. ill get over it. maybe if i just ct the way i always do, and make every think i am fine then i can fix everything i have fucked up.
also, susan says shes not mad at me anymore, but she sill refuses to talk to me. maybe its for the best. i know as soon as school ends, her and susan wont even bother ever calling me. so the friendship ends when school does.
i also hate it that kev talks to susan and shannon, cuz of several reasons. first of all, now that they both refuse to tlak to me, they decided to get back at me by telling kev things about themselves. and susan insists on talking to kev all the time now. and i dont know why he talks to her, cuz now she thinks i did something i didnt do. i give up on friends. there has only been 1 person in my life who has stayed my friend through all the bullshit and whatnot, and thats kaitie. and i love her to death for it.
and my relationship with kev.....who the fuck knows whats going to happen with this. hes mad at me, and he will be for a while. and he insists on remindind me of that everytime we talk on the phone or everytime i see him. i fucking love kev to death. and now, with susan talking to him and all the shit going on i am so afraid that its going to end. maybe its all in my head. but i have reason to think the way that i do. my longest relationship was 2 1/2 months. i expect it to end after that amount of time. so after a period of time, i just stop caring. why care if i am just going to get hurt. we all know thats wats going to happen. it always does. i just dont know anymore. the way susan and kevin are talking to me, they r both making t sound like kevin is planning on ending our relationship. i dont even know anymore. ill get over it. maybe if i just ct the way i always do, and make every think i am fine then i can fix everything i have fucked up.