i dont know
heyy yall whats up?not too much with me. i guess josh broke up with courtney again. i dont know if they will getback together, but i think they will. its weird cuz i like kevin so much, but i was still a little happy when i heard that he and courtney werent together anymore. i dont want to like him, because i like kevin, and i dont want anything to ruin me and kevins relationship. i dont know.....maybe i dontlike him. its just that i want to run to him to tell him whenever i have a problem. and he is the best person to talk to and i love that about him.....i dont know....
enough about him...me n kev will have been together for 1 month on this friday..lol....im working up to a longer relationship than my longest of 2 1/2 months. i want this thing with kevin to last so bad. i like him so much. he is the best guy i have gone out with. i feel bad, because i am dealing with a lot of shit at home and with friends and shit. but he doesnt exactly know...and i kinda take out anger on him...not in a real bad way, just the fact that i do it is bad enough. like, last night, i was on the phone with kev, and my dad started talking shit about me again, and i just ignored kev and started acting bitchy to him. i dont want him to think i am mad at him, but i just need to stop talking to him when i am mad at someone. lol....but hes great. he really is.....i love the realationship we have...
but shit at home sux....my rents are fighting so much lately. my dad is lying about where he is....and he comes home acing like an asshole to me, and started calling me a whore again...i dont know anymore...
o0o and kevins ex still likes him...and i guess he saw her after school today, and she tried kissing him n shit...and even though he said he turned away, it made me mad upset. its not because of him, its because of her. like, i know she knows hes going out with me, but still....why does she have to do this. the reason i am so scared is because of its the same shit that happened to me before. where i was going out with a guy, and some other girl liked him, and even though he told me hed never like her and he never cheated, i found out it was a lie and he cheated a few times with her. and she was supposed to be one of my best friends. this girl doesnt even know who i am so whos to say that she wont try to do the same shit....i need to talk to kev about his tonight....i hope he doesnt think thati am mad at him. cuz im not. i just dont know what to do about anything anymore. it seems like everything i havce is just unraveling right before my eyes and theres nothing i can do about it. no matter how hard i try. and i was so stupid cuz i went back to doing pills....i did them 3 different times. i took flexerols 2 of the times, and oc's the other time. i dont know why i did that again....but i did....and every1 who knows..only a few people...got mad at me for it....and honestly...all i could think about was how to better hide it....it wasnt until last night thati realized how stupid i was and how bad it really is.....i just dont know anymore.....i dont know what to do....
enough about him...me n kev will have been together for 1 month on this friday..lol....im working up to a longer relationship than my longest of 2 1/2 months. i want this thing with kevin to last so bad. i like him so much. he is the best guy i have gone out with. i feel bad, because i am dealing with a lot of shit at home and with friends and shit. but he doesnt exactly know...and i kinda take out anger on him...not in a real bad way, just the fact that i do it is bad enough. like, last night, i was on the phone with kev, and my dad started talking shit about me again, and i just ignored kev and started acting bitchy to him. i dont want him to think i am mad at him, but i just need to stop talking to him when i am mad at someone. lol....but hes great. he really is.....i love the realationship we have...
but shit at home sux....my rents are fighting so much lately. my dad is lying about where he is....and he comes home acing like an asshole to me, and started calling me a whore again...i dont know anymore...
o0o and kevins ex still likes him...and i guess he saw her after school today, and she tried kissing him n shit...and even though he said he turned away, it made me mad upset. its not because of him, its because of her. like, i know she knows hes going out with me, but still....why does she have to do this. the reason i am so scared is because of its the same shit that happened to me before. where i was going out with a guy, and some other girl liked him, and even though he told me hed never like her and he never cheated, i found out it was a lie and he cheated a few times with her. and she was supposed to be one of my best friends. this girl doesnt even know who i am so whos to say that she wont try to do the same shit....i need to talk to kev about his tonight....i hope he doesnt think thati am mad at him. cuz im not. i just dont know what to do about anything anymore. it seems like everything i havce is just unraveling right before my eyes and theres nothing i can do about it. no matter how hard i try. and i was so stupid cuz i went back to doing pills....i did them 3 different times. i took flexerols 2 of the times, and oc's the other time. i dont know why i did that again....but i did....and every1 who knows..only a few people...got mad at me for it....and honestly...all i could think about was how to better hide it....it wasnt until last night thati realized how stupid i was and how bad it really is.....i just dont know anymore.....i dont know what to do....