I dreamed I died... (tomorrow)
Friday morning I woke up, bothered.
I had spent the night at my hunny's house. We went to bed the previous night (like we do any other night), cuddling each other to sleep in each other's arms. I feel asleep great.
Anyhow... I wake up Friday morning mortified!
I had a HORRIBLE DREAM... I died =(
Here's a lil' info on it, and why it bothers me more that any other dream I've had on death before.
I'm with one of my close friends Lisbeth, whom I haven't seen in awhile.
(Mind you, we spoke Thursday evening but before that, it's been months. Most of our conversation consisted of her telling me about her falling out with her best friend Linda, who also happens to be a friend of mine as well.)
Anyhow... As I was backing out of a driveway, I get side-swipped in my car. I "think" the other driver was Lisbeth, but I'm not sure. Well, all this happened so fast for me to respond to it. In my dream, I continue on with life like I normally do. I'm cuddling with my hunny bunny in bed, and can feel spooning me from behind. I'm talking to my best friend Aimee, like I always do, etc...
Well, as I'm talking with Aimee, she tells me that I died. I'm in disbelief, and don't believe her. I'm explaining to her that I just saw my hunny. He kissed me, kissed my hand, kissed my face (as he normally does), and continued to tell her that he felt me. If I was dead, he couldn't feel me. She then tells me that I died in a car accident, and my funeral already happened! I guess I died instantly because I didn't feel a thing, or any pain. It was a quick, and painless death. By this time I was bothered. I wanted PROOF! *lol* As funny as it sounds, I was still in disbelief, and wanted to see proof that I was dead. At that moment a Death Certificate was shown to me in my dream. (I personally don't know what a REAL Death Certificate looks like, but in my dream it looks just like a Birth Certificate, except the title is different.) Anyhow... this is the CREEPY part! At first glance, I notice the DATE of DEATH is BLANK. I'm confused and don't know what to think. Then I look again, and this time there's a date... 10/29/2007!!! In my mind, I'm thinking 2006. Then look closer and see that it's 2007! I then think about the date, and recognize it's the future! October 29, 2007 hasn't even happened yet!!! In my dream, I'm freaking out! I count the days, and recognize (at that moment in my dream) it's only a few days away, it's this MONDAY!!! My immediate thoughts were sad, disbelief, and then it turns into regret. I start thinking of all the things that I still wanna accomplish, and never got the chance to. I think of all the dreams I've had, the trips I wanted to make, places I wanted to visit, family & friends I'll never get to see again, or say good-bye too. Not to mention, the feeling of how my heart dropped at the thought of not being able to see, kiss, or feel my hunny again. I honestly feel that I was placed on this earth to help others. So, my immediate reaction to this is unexplainable. I still don't see how, and why this is all happening. I say to myself, but I haven't even begun to start my mission for others. I was soooo sad. I was then shown a quick glimpse of my funeral, and see all my loved ones there. Then, I wake up =(
I wanted to cry, but at the same time I then realized that it was just a dream. I immediately told myself that death dreams mean new beginnings. I've had them before. I wanted to tell myself ANYTHING to make myself feel better. I looked next to me to see my hunny look so peaceful in a deep sleep. I so badly wanted to wake him, but didn't want to cause I realized that it was still early in the morning, and he would have a hard time going back to sleep. So I just layed there for almost an hour re-thinking my dream, trying to make sense of it. I've had death dreams before, but a Death Certificate, and a futuristic date has never followed. That's why I got scared. When my hunny woke up, I told him, and I scared him too. But then, he reassured me that everything was gonna be okay, and that death dreams did indeed mean new beginnings. You know, the closing of a certain chapter in my life, and the beginning of a new. Yeah, I did believe all that, but why was a I shown my death certificate, and a future date of death (which happens to be tomorrow)???
Since my dream, I think I've driven myself crazy. Literally!
I'm usually the one telling others to rid your mind of the negative, and embrace the positive. Shoot, alot of my friends come to me for positive insights when things have taken a turn for the worse in their lives. But for some reason, I can't shake this one. I try to be positive, but keep allowing the date of tomorrow to keep bothering me. Almost anticipating something will happen, and I KNOW that's wrong. I feel that if I keep this up, I've left the door open for negative things to happen. I'm more certain than anything now in that book, "The Secret". You know when they say your thoughts are being transmitted out, and it attracts "like" thoughts. Well, all day yesterday was bad for me. I couldn't stop thinking of Monday. I feel that I attracted so much negative energy, and became very paranoid! I started noticing all these black birds were following me. One landed on the hood of my car, another sat behind me, and in front of me while having lunch with my mom. Aimee pointed out that one looked as if it was trying to get my attention (when we were in a parking lot), and at work one landed in front of me again. Another thing that freaked me out, my cat. Last night before I left my house, I was walking over to my cat, and she got scared of me. Almost kinda the same way when she sees a ghost. I almost wanted to cry cause she hissed, and cried at me, and wouldn't take a step near me. She's never done this to me. I don't know if it was me being paranoid, but I did recognize that I may have done this myself by continuing my way of negative thinking. I guess this is somewhat of a lesson to me, and how your way of thinking REALLY does affect you.
Today, being Sunday (and tomorrow 10/29/2007) I'm not as bothered as I was earlier. I'm making myself think of the goodness of this all. Shoot, I could win something REAL big tomorrow! *lol* At the same time, I don't want to think anything significant will happen tomorrow either. I will do my best to treat it as any other day.
Anyhow... I know it's been awhile since I've been on here, but will try my best to update soon again. Better yet, I'll let you know how this upcoming week comes along. It has to be good ;)
Love you all :)