I AM CRAZY!!!!!
WELL TWO AND A HALF YEARS LATER I AM FINALLY OVER JAY ALTHOUGH I STILL TALK TO HIM AND HANG OUT WITH HIM ITS NOT THE SAME WE ARE FINALLY FRIENDS I LET GO OF THINKING THINGS WOULD CHANGE HES GOING TO HAVE A BABY IN A FEW MONTHS AND I AM OK WITH THAT I STILL WISH HIM NOTHING BUT THE BEST AND THINK HE IS AN AMAZING PERSON.IN A WAY I BLAME HIM FOR EVERYTHING THAT I USED TO FEEL THE DEPRESSION THE ANGER THE INSECURITY THE HATRED OF MY SELF BUT I REALIZE THAT I FEEL ALL OF THOOSE THINGS ANYWAYS. I FELL IN LOVE AGAIN. THIS ONE I NEVER THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN AND I HATE THE FACT THAT I CANT STOP IT EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOTHING BAD TO SAY ABOUT THIS MAN.HE IS TOTALLY INCREADIBLE HE REALLY IS THE BEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET.BUT HE SCARES ME TO DEATH.WE ARE NOT BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND. I WAS WRONG TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT I CANT HELP IT....I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND WHO I MET 6 MONTHS AGO AND IT STARTED OUT AS A ONE NIGHT STAND AND FROM THAT NIGHT ON FOR 5 MONTHS WEVE BEEN TOGETHER NON STOP UP UNTILL I LOST MY CAR.THEN I ONLY SAW HIM 3 TIMES A WEEK I FOUND A RIDE TO HIS HOUSE AND ONE NIGHT I WANTED TO SEE HIM SO BAD I WALKED FROM MY HOUSE TO HIS 15 MILES BUT IT REALLY DIDDENT BOTHER ME.NOW I SEE HIM ONCE MAYBE TWICE A WEEK IF THAT.IT SUCKS BUT WITH ANY LUCK MY CAR WILL BE FIXED SOON.