sooooo fucking jghfjdghjdghd

[sweetkissses]

ok so im feeling preety fucked up rite now. i wish i would stop being depressed for like 2 scs and enjoy my life. i am obcessed w/ billy. like seriously. the ocd has taken over...mega completely. and i know he thinks im a fag. and it realllllyyyy bugs me. i wish i could just forget about him. forget about the fact that almost everyone in this entire universe has a boyfriend and has a picture displaying their terms of affection. i dont know why i like billy. i just do. i feel like we have a connection. weird. last nite when i was talking to him it was like i was totally numb...and he kinda got it. maaaannn..i dunno what to do. i feel like crying soo bad but there are no fucking tears. i neeeeedddddddd my meds. ahhh. fuck. my doc. told me 'u need to start hanging out w/ ur friends more'...and trust me hun..I WANT TO. i mean trust me..its not that i dont like my friends. loryn. alexa. emmy. jon. i love them. butttttt i need to partyyyyy...get drunkkkkk...and LIVE LIFE!!! daaammnnnnnn. i just wonder when that frickin' day is gonna come. fuck.
well...
im really gonna try n help myself. its the only thing thats gonna help me.