2yrs later...What are we now?
So my clyde came and got me from the airport yesterday at noon. We actually was choppin' it up and havin' a nice time. We get to his house and chilled for a little while and then he had to leave to go run a couple so errands so I was there chillin' with his mama. She had me crackin up. She told me I'm going to be her sons wife! Wow. Then Clyde came and we went upstairs to watch Maury. A few hours later I ended up laying in the bed with him, but not doing nothing. Literally just laying there, and then he grabbed my face, started kissing me, and then turned back and was watching t.v. To be honest we did alot, kissing, touching, kind of stuff but I DID not have sex with him. That is the 1st time in 4 years that I've ever laid in a bed with him and not had sex with him. I told him that I wanted us to start over, and if he cares about me he'll wait until I feel we ready to go there again. He was hurt because he says "How you going to tell me that this (with his hands between my legs) is mine but I can't have it when I want? You'll fuck me when I'm fucking everyone else but now that I just only want to fuck you, be with you, you stop me. I don't get it?" He had a point but I feel like thats all our relationship has been to me for 2 years. The only time I felt closest to him was when we have sex and it made me happy to be that close to him. NOW I'm back and I feel like "we can be so much more than that." So we ended up play fightin', laughing, wrestling, and no sex. Thats the most fun I've had with him since 2005. Today, he came and picked me up and took me to work, and his ma dukes came and picked me up from work because he left for Dallas and won't be back until tomorrow. I have a ticket to go back to Houston on the 12th and if things go wrong I'm leaving. If things go good, with a few minor bumps in the road to be expected, then I'll stay.
"You make me feel like I'm a bad person because I can't be in a full blown relationship with you right now, but ENJ I call you every morning and talk to you until you gotta go to work, I call every night and go to sleep with you, and I call in between to leave you voicemails. I ditched my baby mama to get you from the airport. She called me 3 times and I didn't pick up because I was with you. Now what kind of father does that make? We can't be together right now because the baby isn't even here and if I got to do stuff for her it wont be right for you. You don't deserve to give someone your all and have to understand that I'm at another chicks house because we got a baby together. You aint going like that shit, but I'm tryin' to keep you happy the best way I can because I love you. Whether you here or in Alaska I got you."