(no subject)
Live journal has stoped being a way to express myself to my friends and others and has become the 3rd form of stalking people. Its not far behind my compulsive away message checking and my constant facebook presence.
I miss home. The way it used to be. I love how this weekend was so perfectly awful and perfectly wonderful at the same time. I missed rachel so much I cant even tell you. hanging out with my mom and her mom and her was perfect. everything i needed this weekend. seeing her and being able to just call her and be like "hey, can you come to jail with me?" was perfect. almost exactly how it used to be. she droped everything just to be the best supportive person ever. and just having her in the car made it so much easier. I cant explain it.
speaking of which. dont go to jail. ever. trust me. its horrible. He cried a lot. i havent seen him cry since... he was in 6th grade and i was in 4th. it was horrible. I wanted to reach out and hug him. and I couldnt. I wanted to reach out and slap him and tell him he did this to himself and hes an idiot. but i couldnt. I wanted to see my mom happy and laughing and not thinking about it. but i also wanted her to cry and scream and let it out.
Im happy. and im miserable. I feel selfish for being happy. I feel selfish when my parents are proud of me. my dad doesnt understand that im apart of this family, and it affects me too.
i miss home and but i know im gonna miss school more durring the summer.
i take that back, i dont miss home. I miss my friends, i miss maryanne and rachel and everyone!
i miss you too!!
I miss home. The way it used to be. I love how this weekend was so perfectly awful and perfectly wonderful at the same time. I missed rachel so much I cant even tell you. hanging out with my mom and her mom and her was perfect. everything i needed this weekend. seeing her and being able to just call her and be like "hey, can you come to jail with me?" was perfect. almost exactly how it used to be. she droped everything just to be the best supportive person ever. and just having her in the car made it so much easier. I cant explain it.
speaking of which. dont go to jail. ever. trust me. its horrible. He cried a lot. i havent seen him cry since... he was in 6th grade and i was in 4th. it was horrible. I wanted to reach out and hug him. and I couldnt. I wanted to reach out and slap him and tell him he did this to himself and hes an idiot. but i couldnt. I wanted to see my mom happy and laughing and not thinking about it. but i also wanted her to cry and scream and let it out.
Im happy. and im miserable. I feel selfish for being happy. I feel selfish when my parents are proud of me. my dad doesnt understand that im apart of this family, and it affects me too.
i miss home and but i know im gonna miss school more durring the summer.
i take that back, i dont miss home. I miss my friends, i miss maryanne and rachel and everyone!
i miss you too!!