Life..

[sweetjenny009]

I officially hate special holidays without my family with me, 4th of July was ghetto.. the fireworks just weren't the same without my family watching with me! Granted Jeff is my family but we were at his work watching them... because I had to work I didn't get to take in any of the festivities that were down at the park, I worked until 7 and then came home and changed.. I felt bad for Jeff and his co-workers because they were slammed and the lobby of the restaurant looked like Hurricane Wilma just blew through.. Jeff gave me a work shirt and I kept the lobby clean and did some other stuff to keep them up on their nightly cleaning. 10:15 came around and the park lit off some fireworks, I was good to go until I heard "proud to be an american" and then I started to cry.. that song reminds me of my mom and that reminded me how much I miss her and my family. Sure I was just up there to see them but for some reason its been harder than it ever has. Maybe its because I want to keep the old family traditions alive? I just didn't think it was a 4th of July without sparklers or my uncles and dad lighting off fireworks at grandmas house.. I want to spend time with each one of my family members but everyone is busy, I miss our family vacations and random nights where we would sit and do something as a family... or sitting at the table for a holiday meal and someone would spit food at someone else! I like that I am only 3 hours away from my family and I hope to be able to spend more time with them soon, I've missed out on some important things in their lives and I can't take the emptiness anymore. I want to be more involved in their lives and to be there when they need me.

With love,
sweetjenny009