moodybleu
so I started to go to school today. Got up took a shower, got dress then just broke down sobbing. I am a wreck! Darn it I am exhausted and not loving school right now.. I hate to use the term but I am BURNT OUT! Try Bleu and trying to be a grown up and do what needs to be done. Except all I want is to lay in my bed, be held ( yeah right!) and be given some tlc. Couple of problems there, let's see hhmmm
1) no one to hold me
2) My schedule doesn't really allow that kind of time wasting
3) I wvant to be alone
so much for fantasies and reality working hand and hand
So what did I do last night? I called my ex and talked for 2 hours ( my male ex/best friend not the female ex/best friend). G and I are still mates and it was wonderful to talk and be able to be my truest self. For about 3 seconds I couldn't remember why I broke it off with him. Then I remembered it was for the best. Being a grown up sometimes really sucks rotten eggs! :( Ok so I am having a pity party, tomorrow I promise to go back to being a semi-functioning adult- ugh! the tragedy!
Ok so now I am making plans for myself things outside of school YAHOOOOOOO!
going away for a weekend, planning holiday events, Decided that I may still move to Paris not London. focusing on the future not the here and now which bums me out man.
I got a list of needs & wants and I am working on them.
so that's where I am at.
1) no one to hold me
2) My schedule doesn't really allow that kind of time wasting
3) I wvant to be alone
so much for fantasies and reality working hand and hand
So what did I do last night? I called my ex and talked for 2 hours ( my male ex/best friend not the female ex/best friend). G and I are still mates and it was wonderful to talk and be able to be my truest self. For about 3 seconds I couldn't remember why I broke it off with him. Then I remembered it was for the best. Being a grown up sometimes really sucks rotten eggs! :( Ok so I am having a pity party, tomorrow I promise to go back to being a semi-functioning adult- ugh! the tragedy!
Ok so now I am making plans for myself things outside of school YAHOOOOOOO!
going away for a weekend, planning holiday events, Decided that I may still move to Paris not London. focusing on the future not the here and now which bums me out man.
I got a list of needs & wants and I am working on them.
so that's where I am at.