(no subject)
Today I woke up, watched TV, went and got my haircut and then came back home and tanned. Now I am just sitting and listening to Bright Eyes and thinking like usual. I can't decide if I really like living my days out like this- it feels like I am always waiting on something to happen, someone to call, or even just something to do. It is good to be able to relax and such during the summer but I am already getting stir crazy and it is only May 11th. I guess I perhaps just need to find a job or just learn how to entertain myself.
I really have a lot on my mind right now and I know that certain people are sick of hearing about it. But I am the type of person that just has to analyze the hell out of everything. I know that I just need to figure out how I feel because honestly this all just doesn't make sense. I think I have just fallen into a really comfortable situation... no obligations and no restrictions. But I'm not sure that is what I want. I just keep thinking that there is something more out there for me- and I am not going to wait around. My head is filled with all these contradictions. Sometimes I just want to punch him in the face but other times I just want him to hug me... just a little bit of affection goes a looooong way with me. I wish that there was something someone could say to just makes things click and then I would be able to say "Ok, now I know what I need to do." But unfortunately life is not that easy.
Oh but the truth is- my heart still aches for you. Do I even exist to you anymore? Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can still see your face as clearly as if you were standing right in front of me. Lord I'm a wreck over you still- who am I kidding?
I really have a lot on my mind right now and I know that certain people are sick of hearing about it. But I am the type of person that just has to analyze the hell out of everything. I know that I just need to figure out how I feel because honestly this all just doesn't make sense. I think I have just fallen into a really comfortable situation... no obligations and no restrictions. But I'm not sure that is what I want. I just keep thinking that there is something more out there for me- and I am not going to wait around. My head is filled with all these contradictions. Sometimes I just want to punch him in the face but other times I just want him to hug me... just a little bit of affection goes a looooong way with me. I wish that there was something someone could say to just makes things click and then I would be able to say "Ok, now I know what I need to do." But unfortunately life is not that easy.
Oh but the truth is- my heart still aches for you. Do I even exist to you anymore? Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can still see your face as clearly as if you were standing right in front of me. Lord I'm a wreck over you still- who am I kidding?