Mistakes
So work was slow today and when it's like that my mind goes into overdrive and I started thinking about mistakes.
We're always taught that it's OK to make mistakes as long as we remember them and learn from them. This is all well and good until you get older and life gets more and more difficult and you get to the point where you feel like one big mistake.
I think I am at this point.
I am at this point and I'm wondering if the old advice needs to be tweaked a bit.
I make mistakes like any other human being and I've always believed in remembering those mistakes and not making them again, but if this worked wouldn't logically make less mistakes as time went on? Well, that is not what's happening and maybe it has a little bit to do with holding on to those old mistakes.
Is it possible that holding on to those old mistakes, instead of teaching us, may actually hold us back from doing things right? I feel like with certain things I become so afraid of repeating my old mistakes that I've lost the ability to know how to do things the right way in all of my fear.
Because of this I've ended up in a state of "how the hell did this happen?" and it's not good. I'm so afraid of messing up that I do it inadvertedly and I feel like I've completely lost myself in all the mess that I can't clean up. I hate it.
I think I need to let go of my mistakes and let go of my fears, of course. But how? How can I stop digging myself into these holes?
Right now I feel like the only way to do this is to let go of things and people that I don't want to let go of so I'm gonna have to find another way to do that. Somethings and people I can let go of so there's a start.
There are so many wrongs I wish I could make right but when I try I dig myself deeper. It's hard when you know how you feel and you know it so well but it just comes out all wrong. There's a disconnect somewhere in me and I really hate it.
Things need to get better...and I need to believe they will.
We're always taught that it's OK to make mistakes as long as we remember them and learn from them. This is all well and good until you get older and life gets more and more difficult and you get to the point where you feel like one big mistake.
I think I am at this point.
I am at this point and I'm wondering if the old advice needs to be tweaked a bit.
I make mistakes like any other human being and I've always believed in remembering those mistakes and not making them again, but if this worked wouldn't logically make less mistakes as time went on? Well, that is not what's happening and maybe it has a little bit to do with holding on to those old mistakes.
Is it possible that holding on to those old mistakes, instead of teaching us, may actually hold us back from doing things right? I feel like with certain things I become so afraid of repeating my old mistakes that I've lost the ability to know how to do things the right way in all of my fear.
Because of this I've ended up in a state of "how the hell did this happen?" and it's not good. I'm so afraid of messing up that I do it inadvertedly and I feel like I've completely lost myself in all the mess that I can't clean up. I hate it.
I think I need to let go of my mistakes and let go of my fears, of course. But how? How can I stop digging myself into these holes?
Right now I feel like the only way to do this is to let go of things and people that I don't want to let go of so I'm gonna have to find another way to do that. Somethings and people I can let go of so there's a start.
There are so many wrongs I wish I could make right but when I try I dig myself deeper. It's hard when you know how you feel and you know it so well but it just comes out all wrong. There's a disconnect somewhere in me and I really hate it.
Things need to get better...and I need to believe they will.