Love of my life

[sweethrtstrings]

I'm really worried about my mom right now. She been very sick lately, and it only seems to get worse. And that's just the side I hear about...I don't think she tells me everything. And I know her self-confidence is not very high at the moment, and it's hurts me that there's nothing I can do about it. I love my mom sooooo much, and I think I'd do just about anything to make her happy. But I don't know what to do. What can I do? She had to go to the ER just this past week because of an infection in her legs...which was apparently there this entire time just getting worse. Thus, the explanation of all her leg pains and bruising. I really don't know what I'd do without my mom around. Even though she's all the way in New York...at least she's still around. What happens if all this takes a turn for the worse? What will I do without her? She is my real support. And the disease she has is hereditary. What if this same stuff happens to me later in life? I can't imagine going through what she has to go through every day, and I don't think I even know the half of it. And Tyler, he's doing so much for her. If things get worse, I feel like I would want to come and help take care of her. Then my future gets put on hold, but I would be taking care of one of the people whom I care for the most. I'm not sure how I'd handle it all. Am I strong enough without her as my support? She and I talk about everything even though we are miles apart. She is the only person I feel completely comfortable with. Wow...I'm trying really hard to hold back my tears. I'm working, so I have to. This is all stuff that's been on my mind for quite a while, and then some. I want to know the whole of it, but I'm not really so sure that I do. It's awful, I can't get the thought out of my head...what if my mom were to die because of this? I feel like I might fall apart.

Anywho...I must get back to work before I fall apart now.