108: it's so hard for me to breathe
... lately, things have been difficult. I lost everything in a matter of a few hours and then got it back within another few hours. I found out that life is difficult and that happiness can be hard, but neither is impossible. You'll never find anything that you can't overcome.
But you know, it is amazing to have other people there to support you.
So this Thanksgiving...? This Thanksgiving, I am happy. I am content, I am grateful. But to name a few reasons as to why I'm thankful?
My family is the most important thing in the world to me. I realized after the insanity of last weekend that... if I didn't have them, I would be shattered. I could go on, I can go on without them, but... I don't want to. They may be capable of hurting you more than any other person on this planet, but they are also the ones who are capable of making you into the absolute best you can be. They made me who I am today- whether it be directly or indirectly. So I am thankful for them and I love them so dearly.
... and as I love being thankful (goodness knows I don't do it enough), I am thankful for love. Because love brings you up, love is what holds you together, love can never truly let you down and the most amazing part of it? You can find love anywhere. Love is free and love is kind.
I love not only my friends offline, but have also found love through the connection of the internet and the people I have met. So my love online? It goes to...
Kat, who is my big sister as she was before, now, and forever. You're in college now, big sis, and I take pride in that. I take pride in having such a smart, beautiful, and kind young woman consider me her little sister which is an honor like no other. I love it when people bring up how you're always busy because I think "Haha, she is! Because my big sister is going to change the world and she needs to work hard for that. And I hope she always, always remembers that she has an army of people backing her up." I believe in you big sis, and I know you can do anything and everything.
Yun, who has been so busy lately, hehe. Again, I'm... so happy and thankful for knowing such a strong person. Yun dear, I admire you in so many things. You seem to be proficient in so many subjects and I can only hope to be half as succesful as you are. I support you in every single thing you do but I am admittedly glad to be hearing from you again and I always enjoy speaking with you. It's such fun and I am happy to have a friend like you.
Annabelle, who has to be one of the most adorable, considerate, and amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Darling, you put so much work into everything you do, whether it be organizing the DRRR!! cast or just having fun with everyone. It's so impressive that I can't even put it into words and I am so happy to be your friend.
January, who is... hilarious, talented, and an amazing amount of fun, haha! We've been in Somarium for the longest time now and you are one of my best buddies, you know? I can't imagine a moment when we aren't threading somewhere. And it's not just the IC interactions, it's the OOC talks that make me laugh where we exchange derp stories and I learn random fun facts about this beautiful and wonderful person that I've met who I call Jan. ♥
Shari, who I could write another essay for as to how much I love her and could spend forever listing why. Sharidoor, who has taken the nonsensical little exchange we had in chat about nicknames and turned it into something adorable and sappy. I fail to be surprised though, since Shari is a total dear and kind and affectionate and is horribly considerate. Shari dearest, who is one of the best friends that I could ever have as she's hilarious and never fails to make me smile. ♥♥
Nami, or perhaps I should say Ragnami? Or Ragnamisaur? Oh, you know who I’m talking about. I’m talking about the hilarious, friendly, loud, and generally amazing girl who has this tendency to make me fret and worry because she falls out windows and kicks doors down. Hardcore as you are, I’ll never stop worrying, hon. But you know what? I’ll deal with it. I’ll deal with it because if I can take this worrying and get Nami in exchange? It’s more than worth it because I can’t imagine going on without her.
Ryuuto, who is a new friend of mine but still dear to my heart like no other. Oh Ryuu, you’re hilarious and I love planning out things and plotting with you because it’s always so entertaining and such fun. We share similar fandoms and I love speaking with you in chat because your hearts and happy comments warm my heart, even when they’re not directed towards me. You’re an absolute sweetheart and I hope you know that, lovely.
Char, who still stands to be one of the most impressive and admirable people I know. Darling, you deal with so much and I think you deserve a lot of credit for it. Because throughout it all, you manage to get by with a smile on your face and the willingness to help with others despite your own problems. Know that I love you so much for it and I’m here for you whenever you need it. ♥
Lena, who remains to be one of the funniest people I have ever met. Your sense of humor brightens my day, dear and-- … oh, who am I kidding? You brighten my day. I know we don’t talk often and I’m negligent, but I want to you to take this post as a notice that I haven’t forgotten you. You are still insanely important to me and I always want to be there for you when your days are sad and be there to enjoy them with you when your days are good. I wish you nothing but the best and want to remind you that I am always here for you.
Bree, who may not be having the best Thanksgiving, hm? Well, like I said dearest, don’t ever beat yourself up for anything you do. You wanna know why? It’s because you’re human and allowed those things. But you know what’s even more important? You’re Bree, who is one of my best friends in the entire world because you listen to me rant and get angry and get upset and still call me your friend. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve a friend like you, but I hope that you’ll never leave me because I don’t know if I could handle a life without Bree. Please smile sometime today, darling, that’s all I ask. ♥
Lae, who deserves an essay about how much I love and appreciate her. I don’t… really know where to begin here, haha! Lae, you make me laugh and you make me smile and you make me facepalm and make me work all in the same conversation. Being your wingman is an honor and I love being able to talk to you most days without a single reason except for the fact that I wanted to talk. You’re such a kind, open, and fun person with the most ridiculous ideas and a boatload of talent. You’ve dealt with so much of my angst and problems within the last year, and I could always count on you to be there when I need someone to talk to or just cling to like the world is ending. Whenever it feels like something’s shattering or I’m close to breaking down, I know I can count on you and that you’ll be there to help me through it. I don’t really know how to say thank you for that or show any real gratitude or… repay you. So all I can say is Thank You and hope you know that I’m here on the off-chance that you may ever need me, too.
Cal.
…. I wish I knew where to start, or even where to end.
But as is, dearest? All I can say is that I love you. You’re my tag-team partner and I don’t know what I’d do without you on some days- perhaps even more than just some. I’ve gotten so used to talking to you every day, and talking so much that meebo explodes every time I try to look back on it. You’re able to make the worst of situations okay, just by being there and walking me through it. I trust you more than I could even begin to say and I know that I can rely on you for anything and everything. At this rate, we may very well be inseparable online and even if we’re separated offline, it’s amusing how we can speak for each other and take messages for the other with no problem.
Each day with you is so much fun because we talk about everything under the sun and come up with ridiculous things. I can’t remember a day when we didn’t tag, or didn’t talk in at least some way, or… even post a log… separately? Pfffffff. If I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t have apped Sharon, wouldn’t have apped Saya, and… I can’t imagine not having either of them at this point. No sticky note wars? No LOTT? No Leap Year?
I could go on and on about how much you’ve changed my life dearest, how much I love you, and how amazing you are but… I think I’ll spare us both that sap, yeah? You’re so ridiculously close to my heart that I swear it’s overlapping at times, and I am always here for you, in case you may ever need me as much as I need you. ♥
Finally, to everyone on my f-list: … you are loved. You are amazing. You are brilliant, beautiful, hilarious and spectacular. Be thankful for things today, be thankful for your friends, family, possessions… but know that there’s also someone out there being thankful for you. So you know what else? Be thankful for yourself. Because who you are… is worthy of love and thanks by everyone, even-no, especially yourself.
Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Thursday.
But you know, it is amazing to have other people there to support you.
So this Thanksgiving...? This Thanksgiving, I am happy. I am content, I am grateful. But to name a few reasons as to why I'm thankful?
My family is the most important thing in the world to me. I realized after the insanity of last weekend that... if I didn't have them, I would be shattered. I could go on, I can go on without them, but... I don't want to. They may be capable of hurting you more than any other person on this planet, but they are also the ones who are capable of making you into the absolute best you can be. They made me who I am today- whether it be directly or indirectly. So I am thankful for them and I love them so dearly.
... and as I love being thankful (goodness knows I don't do it enough), I am thankful for love. Because love brings you up, love is what holds you together, love can never truly let you down and the most amazing part of it? You can find love anywhere. Love is free and love is kind.
I love not only my friends offline, but have also found love through the connection of the internet and the people I have met. So my love online? It goes to...
Kat, who is my big sister as she was before, now, and forever. You're in college now, big sis, and I take pride in that. I take pride in having such a smart, beautiful, and kind young woman consider me her little sister which is an honor like no other. I love it when people bring up how you're always busy because I think "Haha, she is! Because my big sister is going to change the world and she needs to work hard for that. And I hope she always, always remembers that she has an army of people backing her up." I believe in you big sis, and I know you can do anything and everything.
Yun, who has been so busy lately, hehe. Again, I'm... so happy and thankful for knowing such a strong person. Yun dear, I admire you in so many things. You seem to be proficient in so many subjects and I can only hope to be half as succesful as you are. I support you in every single thing you do but I am admittedly glad to be hearing from you again and I always enjoy speaking with you. It's such fun and I am happy to have a friend like you.
Annabelle, who has to be one of the most adorable, considerate, and amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Darling, you put so much work into everything you do, whether it be organizing the DRRR!! cast or just having fun with everyone. It's so impressive that I can't even put it into words and I am so happy to be your friend.
January, who is... hilarious, talented, and an amazing amount of fun, haha! We've been in Somarium for the longest time now and you are one of my best buddies, you know? I can't imagine a moment when we aren't threading somewhere. And it's not just the IC interactions, it's the OOC talks that make me laugh where we exchange derp stories and I learn random fun facts about this beautiful and wonderful person that I've met who I call Jan. ♥
Shari, who I could write another essay for as to how much I love her and could spend forever listing why. Sharidoor, who has taken the nonsensical little exchange we had in chat about nicknames and turned it into something adorable and sappy. I fail to be surprised though, since Shari is a total dear and kind and affectionate and is horribly considerate. Shari dearest, who is one of the best friends that I could ever have as she's hilarious and never fails to make me smile. ♥♥
Nami, or perhaps I should say Ragnami? Or Ragnamisaur? Oh, you know who I’m talking about. I’m talking about the hilarious, friendly, loud, and generally amazing girl who has this tendency to make me fret and worry because she falls out windows and kicks doors down. Hardcore as you are, I’ll never stop worrying, hon. But you know what? I’ll deal with it. I’ll deal with it because if I can take this worrying and get Nami in exchange? It’s more than worth it because I can’t imagine going on without her.
Ryuuto, who is a new friend of mine but still dear to my heart like no other. Oh Ryuu, you’re hilarious and I love planning out things and plotting with you because it’s always so entertaining and such fun. We share similar fandoms and I love speaking with you in chat because your hearts and happy comments warm my heart, even when they’re not directed towards me. You’re an absolute sweetheart and I hope you know that, lovely.
Char, who still stands to be one of the most impressive and admirable people I know. Darling, you deal with so much and I think you deserve a lot of credit for it. Because throughout it all, you manage to get by with a smile on your face and the willingness to help with others despite your own problems. Know that I love you so much for it and I’m here for you whenever you need it. ♥
Lena, who remains to be one of the funniest people I have ever met. Your sense of humor brightens my day, dear and-- … oh, who am I kidding? You brighten my day. I know we don’t talk often and I’m negligent, but I want to you to take this post as a notice that I haven’t forgotten you. You are still insanely important to me and I always want to be there for you when your days are sad and be there to enjoy them with you when your days are good. I wish you nothing but the best and want to remind you that I am always here for you.
Bree, who may not be having the best Thanksgiving, hm? Well, like I said dearest, don’t ever beat yourself up for anything you do. You wanna know why? It’s because you’re human and allowed those things. But you know what’s even more important? You’re Bree, who is one of my best friends in the entire world because you listen to me rant and get angry and get upset and still call me your friend. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve a friend like you, but I hope that you’ll never leave me because I don’t know if I could handle a life without Bree. Please smile sometime today, darling, that’s all I ask. ♥
Lae, who deserves an essay about how much I love and appreciate her. I don’t… really know where to begin here, haha! Lae, you make me laugh and you make me smile and you make me facepalm and make me work all in the same conversation. Being your wingman is an honor and I love being able to talk to you most days without a single reason except for the fact that I wanted to talk. You’re such a kind, open, and fun person with the most ridiculous ideas and a boatload of talent. You’ve dealt with so much of my angst and problems within the last year, and I could always count on you to be there when I need someone to talk to or just cling to like the world is ending. Whenever it feels like something’s shattering or I’m close to breaking down, I know I can count on you and that you’ll be there to help me through it. I don’t really know how to say thank you for that or show any real gratitude or… repay you. So all I can say is Thank You and hope you know that I’m here on the off-chance that you may ever need me, too.
Cal.
…. I wish I knew where to start, or even where to end.
But as is, dearest? All I can say is that I love you. You’re my tag-team partner and I don’t know what I’d do without you on some days- perhaps even more than just some. I’ve gotten so used to talking to you every day, and talking so much that meebo explodes every time I try to look back on it. You’re able to make the worst of situations okay, just by being there and walking me through it. I trust you more than I could even begin to say and I know that I can rely on you for anything and everything. At this rate, we may very well be inseparable online and even if we’re separated offline, it’s amusing how we can speak for each other and take messages for the other with no problem.
Each day with you is so much fun because we talk about everything under the sun and come up with ridiculous things. I can’t remember a day when we didn’t tag, or didn’t talk in at least some way, or… even post a log… separately? Pfffffff. If I hadn’t met you, I wouldn’t have apped Sharon, wouldn’t have apped Saya, and… I can’t imagine not having either of them at this point. No sticky note wars? No LOTT? No Leap Year?
I could go on and on about how much you’ve changed my life dearest, how much I love you, and how amazing you are but… I think I’ll spare us both that sap, yeah? You’re so ridiculously close to my heart that I swear it’s overlapping at times, and I am always here for you, in case you may ever need me as much as I need you. ♥
Finally, to everyone on my f-list: … you are loved. You are amazing. You are brilliant, beautiful, hilarious and spectacular. Be thankful for things today, be thankful for your friends, family, possessions… but know that there’s also someone out there being thankful for you. So you know what else? Be thankful for yourself. Because who you are… is worthy of love and thanks by everyone, even-no, especially yourself.
Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Thursday.