Drugged Love
I laid there, naked, sweating, simmering in this crock pot of sheets, sex and cigarette smoke.
I was waiting.
Waiting for the next drag, the next hit, the next fuck, or the next blink of a lampshade to throw me off balance again.
I was out of it. I had everything. I wanted more.
Addicted.
Addiction, it felt good in my empty stomach and glistened on my slinky of a body.
I watched my skeleton become fluid with the bed I was fall into. One ripple at a time, I came closer and closer to being translucent in a sea of unconsciousness.
It all kept me swimming though.
His hand on my breast, my stomach, my lips sent vibrations through my body and kept me afloat.
The flame of the Zippo lighter.
The prescriptions.
Blank words from the stereo,
Bottles of Jack and Merlot.
It all kept me afloat.
He cradled me with his hazy eyes, and I laid there.
My heart flickered. 1 2 3 4.
1 2 3 4. I was still alive.
I needed another.
One more to keep me breathing.
The oxygen was dancing through my oil laced hair, it was beating to get to my brain.
My head ached.
I needed another.
One more.
He was petting me, my head ached and my veins were braiding my body into the bed.
The fingers evaporated on my skin and the vibrations sent me through the mattress.
I was gone.
I was out of it.
I had everything.
I wanted more.
One more.
I laid there, breathing sex. My body was gone. My head ached.
My eyes spiraled around the ceiling fan and cigarette smoke clouded the room.,
Breathe.
Kept breathing. Keep breathing. Breathing.
No space. No arms. Chipped nail polish. Lines. Lines. No legs. No feeling.
I laid there.
Naked.
Empty.
I was out of it.
I had everything.
I wanted more.