havent these past few weeks been wonderful ::roll eyes::
hello again...i havent written in here in ages bc it was blocked for some stupid reason. This last week and stuff has been awful its like everything has gone wrong times a million. First off, Jon hates me because of what i wrote in here at the beginning of january...which i was going to apologize for because i started to like him again, i was just mad bc i thought he never really liked me bc he went out with amber as soon as i said i couldnt go out with him so i thought he was messing with my head. At the beginning of the week i was gonna tell him i really like him and i wanted to go out with him but then i find out he hates me bc of what i wrote in here and nobody vents like that...but i do when im mad. However, i cant apologize now bc he hurt me deeper than any guy has ever hurt me. He never cared about me or anyone he has ever dated. And i was so caught up in liking him again it hit my dead on straight in the heart. but i cant change anything now. he wont even look at me...which i cant say i dont wanna look his way either...but i do notice those things. I just cant stand him hating me. But, i guess he always will. I think he hurt me far worse though bc i didnt mean what i said...he did. Now then Andy is thrown into the picture when i told someone i liked jon she said i shouldnt but that i should go for andy bc he is better for me in the end. so i thought about it and talked to him. He agrees with her. Andy is better and than jon...because he(andy) would actually like me. But see i havent talked to andy in a long, long, long time and we have changed and we would have to start over and i wanna be friends but its hard bc i remember things and then i dont know stuff happens. Then i heard a rumor that i am trying to take byron away from stephanie. And i was like wtf!! I would never EVER do that. Byron and me barely know eachother and Steph is 1 of my best friends and best friends just dont do that... her and byron are perfect for eachother anyway so i dont know why they are saying that. Byron is just trying to help me become friends with andy...thats it. so i was really upset bc i thought steph would hate me...over something thats not true. Jon- if u read this i didnt mean what i said before i was just angry..u can believe what u want but thats the truth. However, now i maybe i do feel those things bc u cant just say things u do...bc u dont realize how bad u hurt people...and somethings u just dont say. Maybe i shouldnt of said what i said before...but i just cant take it back now. If u wanna talk fine...i will and will tell u how i feel but if u wanna hate me...hate me i guess bc i cant be friends with u or like u just as a person after knowing what u say about people u dated.... Andy i hope me and u do become friends bc it would be nice having u as a friend i just dont wanna rush things..maybe staying friends for awhile first is what we need and then go from there whenever were ready. Bryon & Steph- thanks for helping me through this... steph i lylas!!!
~me~