wasting time at work.
Last night after car shopping I watched Big Fish with my Mum. Even though I own the DVD I have not watched it in a while. I watched it up at school with Bianca and Michelle I think, but that time I was watching it for the visual appeal. It did not let it affect me. If you have not seen it, go rent it. It is a complicated and beautiful story wrapped in metaphors.
The first time I watched it was in 11th grade at Star Gratiot. I went with Caitlin, Jamie, Brandon? (I know there were about 5 of us total because I remember not sitting next to Jamie in the theater and regretting it.) My grandmother had just died and because of that I twisted the plot of the movie to be about death and old-age. At the time, I needed it as closure. It’s funny that whenever we’re going through something difficult we reach out to pop culture to sum it up for us and put a nice little bow on top. When we’re lonely we want to watch romance, when we’re upset we’re glued to Law and Order...it’s human nature to want to know that the pain we feel is not unusual. Somehow we gain strength in the knowledge that we’re not the first person to feel our heart ripped out. If someone else can push through, so can we. The power of persuasion, in other words the power of lies. No pain is the same, no matter how many times Leonardo DiCaprio tries to prove otherwise.
Anyway, I manipulated Big Fish to be about death. When in reality, it’s about life. Perhaps it’s because I write obits now, or because I have accepted my spirituality, or maybe it’s only because I have not had to deal with death recently, but I’m starting to realize how many things are about life rather than death.
The power death comes from our fear of not living. Of regret. Of not being able to say those few meaningful words and secrets to the ones we love. When I was a little girl I had nightmares about death, about loss. I would lie in bed, stiff as a board, mesmerized with death. Maturity and growth as solved that. Now I still lie in bed dreaming, but instead of focusing on what I don’t want, I stay up until 3am with my heart racing because I cant stop thinking about what I do want. That’s an amazing feeling to lie in bed frustrated that you can’t sleep, simply because you want to be in control of your dreams. My best dreams are ones about one person. So I sat in bed trying to fall asleep, with my heart racing and instead of dreaming, I was daydreaming. You don’t capture my dreams, you capture my reality. I would stay awake forever if I could always think of you. Lyrics to a bad bsb song, eh? That’s why they made millions of dollars... capitalizing on our simple desires.
These three quotes really got me thinking yesterday:
Young Ed Bloom: There’s a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny’s lost, the ship has sailed away and that only a fool will continue. The truth is I’ve always been a fool.
Senior Bloom: They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that’s true. What they don’t tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.
Young Ed Bloom: I was thinking about death and all. About seeing how you’re gonna die. I mean, on one hand, if dying was all you thought about, it could kind of screw you up, But it could help you couldn’t it? Because you’d know that everything else you can survive.
I like the idea that everything in life has a way of coming back to you, both the good and bad. They say dreams can tell the future. I wonder if your daydreams can lead you anywhere? I wish I was the modern Nostradamus.
The first time I watched it was in 11th grade at Star Gratiot. I went with Caitlin, Jamie, Brandon? (I know there were about 5 of us total because I remember not sitting next to Jamie in the theater and regretting it.) My grandmother had just died and because of that I twisted the plot of the movie to be about death and old-age. At the time, I needed it as closure. It’s funny that whenever we’re going through something difficult we reach out to pop culture to sum it up for us and put a nice little bow on top. When we’re lonely we want to watch romance, when we’re upset we’re glued to Law and Order...it’s human nature to want to know that the pain we feel is not unusual. Somehow we gain strength in the knowledge that we’re not the first person to feel our heart ripped out. If someone else can push through, so can we. The power of persuasion, in other words the power of lies. No pain is the same, no matter how many times Leonardo DiCaprio tries to prove otherwise.
Anyway, I manipulated Big Fish to be about death. When in reality, it’s about life. Perhaps it’s because I write obits now, or because I have accepted my spirituality, or maybe it’s only because I have not had to deal with death recently, but I’m starting to realize how many things are about life rather than death.
The power death comes from our fear of not living. Of regret. Of not being able to say those few meaningful words and secrets to the ones we love. When I was a little girl I had nightmares about death, about loss. I would lie in bed, stiff as a board, mesmerized with death. Maturity and growth as solved that. Now I still lie in bed dreaming, but instead of focusing on what I don’t want, I stay up until 3am with my heart racing because I cant stop thinking about what I do want. That’s an amazing feeling to lie in bed frustrated that you can’t sleep, simply because you want to be in control of your dreams. My best dreams are ones about one person. So I sat in bed trying to fall asleep, with my heart racing and instead of dreaming, I was daydreaming. You don’t capture my dreams, you capture my reality. I would stay awake forever if I could always think of you. Lyrics to a bad bsb song, eh? That’s why they made millions of dollars... capitalizing on our simple desires.
These three quotes really got me thinking yesterday:
Young Ed Bloom: There’s a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny’s lost, the ship has sailed away and that only a fool will continue. The truth is I’ve always been a fool.
Senior Bloom: They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that’s true. What they don’t tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.
Young Ed Bloom: I was thinking about death and all. About seeing how you’re gonna die. I mean, on one hand, if dying was all you thought about, it could kind of screw you up, But it could help you couldn’t it? Because you’d know that everything else you can survive.
I like the idea that everything in life has a way of coming back to you, both the good and bad. They say dreams can tell the future. I wonder if your daydreams can lead you anywhere? I wish I was the modern Nostradamus.