maybe if i click my heels together...
So..last night i found all these letters from a long time
ago. Journals and e-mails, letters and notes, all
stuffed into this old folder I had scribbled on. What
was great were the conversations I saved from when
Jimmy Shi and I had first started dating.
(Now...be prepared..i'm about to rant. It's true. i wont lie..move on if u r just not up for it!)
I was reading them over..and I realized that Jimmy Shi gave
me such an ear-full of BULLSHIT! Things like "...I'm
forever your.." and "Don't ever change bc u are the
perfect mixture of charm, and whit,..etc.etc.."...and
loads more.. it's all just a bit shocking to me
because I just never saw Jimmy Shi as a bullshit
guy..not while i was dating him atleast...He seemed so
genuine and innocent. so incapable of treating me like
shit (which he later did..and did an excellent job of
i might had..)
and see...this revelation about him and the initial
bullshit (which i was blind to...) isn't upseting to
me in any other way..except that he's FUCKING JIMMY
SHI..
I mean...just his name alone says it all...
and if even Jimmy shi (my first real boyfriend) is a fucking bullshit/FULL OF
SHIT male..than there really isnt much hope for me
with men in this cruel world!
THe more males i become aquainted with..the more i realize how they are all
just self-centered, wanna-be-porn-stars..who are in
love with only themselves. THey use females as
pleasure toys?!?! haha..for themselves!
and i guess
it's true too..that a lot of females our age aren't
much better...
there must be a world where sex, boose, and being
hott..is not everything!
as a last note...thinking about the innocence of Jimmy
SHi made me think about my own. I wasn't ready to be
let down by this whole male/dating bullshit
thing. I couldnt understand how/why Jimmy (and other
guys later) would treat me like shit.. or make me feel
bad about myself..or totally blow me off...without
remorse or care. I mean..where or when did it become
ok? I still don't get it ..haha. mama didnt warn me
about this bullshit! FUCK'n A'...i need some prozac!
"...and life returned to a succession of busy nothings."-JA
Ps..Carolyn..something I forgot to mention on the
comment I left you! U WILL NEVER BE CAROL THE CAT
LADY..(who eats cat food!) NEVER! NOT EVER!
ago. Journals and e-mails, letters and notes, all
stuffed into this old folder I had scribbled on. What
was great were the conversations I saved from when
Jimmy Shi and I had first started dating.
(Now...be prepared..i'm about to rant. It's true. i wont lie..move on if u r just not up for it!)
I was reading them over..and I realized that Jimmy Shi gave
me such an ear-full of BULLSHIT! Things like "...I'm
forever your.." and "Don't ever change bc u are the
perfect mixture of charm, and whit,..etc.etc.."...and
loads more.. it's all just a bit shocking to me
because I just never saw Jimmy Shi as a bullshit
guy..not while i was dating him atleast...He seemed so
genuine and innocent. so incapable of treating me like
shit (which he later did..and did an excellent job of
i might had..)
and see...this revelation about him and the initial
bullshit (which i was blind to...) isn't upseting to
me in any other way..except that he's FUCKING JIMMY
SHI..
I mean...just his name alone says it all...
and if even Jimmy shi (my first real boyfriend) is a fucking bullshit/FULL OF
SHIT male..than there really isnt much hope for me
with men in this cruel world!
THe more males i become aquainted with..the more i realize how they are all
just self-centered, wanna-be-porn-stars..who are in
love with only themselves. THey use females as
pleasure toys?!?! haha..for themselves!
and i guess
it's true too..that a lot of females our age aren't
much better...
there must be a world where sex, boose, and being
hott..is not everything!
as a last note...thinking about the innocence of Jimmy
SHi made me think about my own. I wasn't ready to be
let down by this whole male/dating bullshit
thing. I couldnt understand how/why Jimmy (and other
guys later) would treat me like shit.. or make me feel
bad about myself..or totally blow me off...without
remorse or care. I mean..where or when did it become
ok? I still don't get it ..haha. mama didnt warn me
about this bullshit! FUCK'n A'...i need some prozac!
"...and life returned to a succession of busy nothings."-JA
Ps..Carolyn..something I forgot to mention on the
comment I left you! U WILL NEVER BE CAROL THE CAT
LADY..(who eats cat food!) NEVER! NOT EVER!