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[sweetestsiren]

 I know I never really post, but I guess I'm feeling particularly introspective with the start of the new year.

My cousin Ryan said something a few days ago about relationships that's been on my mind for a few days: "Movies have ruined relationships for girls. They have this ideal of meeting someone perfect and it all just working out." I started

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[sweetestsiren]

Thanks for the reply! I kind of envy the initial feeling of attraction to someone, because I'm not sure that I've ever really felt that in person. I think that's in part because I'm fairly guarded with new people and haven't met anyone who was able to break through that. I'm sure that it is out there, though, and I really am probably going to have to put more effort into seeking it out. An intellectual connection is hugely important for me, too. I dated a guy somewhat recently who was perfectly nice, attractive, etc., but I didn't feel any sort of chemistry with him and didn't find myself wanting to talk to him or feeling that I was getting anything out of the relationship.

I'm not really opposed to online dating, and I know several people who've met significant others that way. I think that part of my hesitation with it is on a logistical level with living in the middle of nowhere and the dating pool being consequently smaller. I think I'd be more open to it living somewhere there were more options and less travel involved. Excuses, excuses! Good for you for getting out there, though, and it's reassuring to know that you've had some luck with online dating and gone on fun dates. :)

Apropos of nothing, you're an INTJ, aren't you? I think I remember reading that. As an INFJ, I can relate to so much of what you write.

[brightredday]

Yeah, I've only felt that chemistry a couple times (and several times I felt it, my hopes were dashed as the date was ending), but it is important. It's terrible when you meet with someone who you think is going to be great and you just don't feel that spark. Totally disappointing.

And you're probably right about the logistics of online dating--I know one person who had a hard time finding very many people online in her area when she tried it, though she found more guys on some of the larger paid sites like match.com. I have actually on occasion had some communications with guys who live nowhere near me (one as far away as Switzerland), and that was fun and a little reassuring that good guys were out there, even if I knew I'd never meet them.

And yes, I'm an INTJ. :) It's probably even harder for perfectionist introverts like us to find connection.