aNaToMY oF a FaiLuRe
When I first read the e-mail, I started shaking. I didn't believe it at first, because I had convinced myself I had done so well. I guess the worst part is that Lindsay and Johanna both got it. Don't get me wrong guys, I really am happy for you, but it makes me feel amazingly awful that I'm the one who failed. The one of three. The worst one.
I told myself I couldn't be upset if I didn't get the part because I tried my best, but now I just feel like my best isn't good enough. I keep wondering what it was about me they didn't like. Self doubt is running amuck. I really didn't want to do the college program at that point.
But I guess if I thought like that for too long I'd ruin everyone's vacation, including mine.
So we went to MGM and I walked around the park and I remembered that I really did want to do it. I saw all the other cast members, and some cool things, and I realized that now I'd be able to interact with the guests, and I'd be able to wear a cool name badge.
Soo... I guess those are perks. But I still feel like crawling into a hole and not coming out for a very long time.
I told myself I couldn't be upset if I didn't get the part because I tried my best, but now I just feel like my best isn't good enough. I keep wondering what it was about me they didn't like. Self doubt is running amuck. I really didn't want to do the college program at that point.
But I guess if I thought like that for too long I'd ruin everyone's vacation, including mine.
So we went to MGM and I walked around the park and I remembered that I really did want to do it. I saw all the other cast members, and some cool things, and I realized that now I'd be able to interact with the guests, and I'd be able to wear a cool name badge.
Soo... I guess those are perks. But I still feel like crawling into a hole and not coming out for a very long time.