not that anyone noticed
ok so here is the gayset recap of whats going on...
i was having a good day yesterday,untill choir. it always happens in choir! so i was sitting there and all the sudden i fellt all weird. i closed my eyes and then i opended them and i looked and the lights then it hit me like a baseball bat to the back of the head. a damn head ache and sharp pircing pain in the back of my eye. every noise sounded loud and very unclear. i could have just started crying cuz i was in soo much pain but i didnt wanna make a seen. i was soo confused on what was going on all this noise and shanna was talking to me and i could understand what she was saying untill i forced myself to try to under stand what she was telling me or asking me. she asked if i was ok and i said yeah but i was lying. so after wards i stumbled to go talk to nelson to see if she tell if my face was a-symetrical. she said i looked fine, i knew i wasnt so i did my best to get to the nurse. i ran into a few people untill jon ran into me and cody saw me out side her class and she walked me to the nurse. and the stupid fucking narks i swear this girl could have been in the fuckin airhead clinic and didnt care. she thought i was making up all this shit ab out being in the hospital last April for 2 weeks and being non normal. so after i called my mom cody walked me brauns to get my homework and then i guess i said a sentence witht the word something in it and she looke dat me funny and we just stopped and she said to say "something" and thats when i knew it was comming back, so i walked to the bathroom to look at myself in the miorr and my smile was crooked. so to make a long story short i i went to children's hospital for 8 hours. i got a shot for vomitting and staroids to make my head ache go away as much as poss and it put me to sleep with in 10 sec. and im just getting out of the sleepy effect and am kinda groggy. so if you werent awear of what happen last time, here is an outline. even though people are going to make fun of me and ask a lot of stupid qestions tomarrow....
- i cant really see out of my right eye, too a certain extent.
- i have no feeling on the right side of my face
- i have no/barley any movement on the right side of my face, mouth...
- i have no taste on the righht side of my tounge
- i have sluered speech, cant say my s's, r's and certain word correctly.
- my smile is really fucked up so dont ask me to smile, if you wanna see what it looks like then do or say somthing funny then stare at me like im strange animal at the zoo....
im not trying to be mean. but you have to understand that last time thins happend people we not the nicest to me. i got poked at like i was a stupid science project, its not cool. i know people think its cool to say things really diffrent and that i cant feel someone touch me on the right side of my face or the face i cant see someone soo close to the right side of my face that their nose is so close to me that i can feel the heat of their breathing on my neck.
so if you ask qestions dont make a big deal out of it unless i seem like im in the mood to have fun and make a stupid ass out of myself at my own exspence...
im out. the sad part about this whole thing is that no one notice i was gone, the qestion is does anyone care?
later during today... (thus could prove my point? or just to realize something new...)
BIGboyCJ11: wats up?
mistheluvyoumost:just tryin to get over been in the hospital
BIGboyCJ11: sounds fun
mistheluvyoumost: not really i got this reocurence back again
BIGboyCJ11: i guess
mistheluvyoumost: yeah well i cant speek right and i have no feeling on my right side so yeah im just doin damn TERIFFIC!
BIGboyCJ11: i guess
mistheluvyoumost: yeah well i dont exspect much saying from u
BIGboyCJ11: y?
mistheluvyoumost: cuz you dont care about me
mistheluvyoumost: i could get hit by a semi and you could just shrugg your sholders
BIGboyCJ11: i kno that
BIGboyCJ11:y u sayin shit like that
mistheluvyoumost: because thats what always happens
BIGboyCJ11: i guess
mistheluvyoumost: i always get sick and know one knows untill i say something and i get responces like you gave me
mistheluvyoumost: i dont think many people care about me and it makes me mad to know if someone i knew ended up in the worst situation i woould be there in a heart beat
mistheluvyoumost: it just makes me sick to know i care so much
BIGboyCJ11: o
BIGboyCJ11: k
mistheluvyoumost: about people who barely care about me
BIGboyCJ11:i have so much enthusiasm
BIGboyCJ11: ya kno
mistheluvyoumost:.
BIGboyCJ11: i guess
this convo made me think a lot. there has only been 3 people who ever showed their love and the fact that they care about me. its just plain sad. Damon was the first person that came to the hospital last time and the weird thing is that yesterday when all this stuff started to happen agian he called me and asked what was "going on" and he said he got this erie feeling that something was wrong... and amber showed up last time too. and i know sean would have been there but he lives in chicago but he called me every day at least 2-3 times.
do the people in my life know that i love, just met, have known for a long time and barely talk to these days know how much they mean to me? i dont think that a person that i havent talked to in the last 2 years would even know that i would be by their side if they ever got hurt in any way... i know how scary it is to be in pain not knowing whats going on. but i do know when someone is by your side, it makes you feel a lot better than any medicine.
i was having a good day yesterday,untill choir. it always happens in choir! so i was sitting there and all the sudden i fellt all weird. i closed my eyes and then i opended them and i looked and the lights then it hit me like a baseball bat to the back of the head. a damn head ache and sharp pircing pain in the back of my eye. every noise sounded loud and very unclear. i could have just started crying cuz i was in soo much pain but i didnt wanna make a seen. i was soo confused on what was going on all this noise and shanna was talking to me and i could understand what she was saying untill i forced myself to try to under stand what she was telling me or asking me. she asked if i was ok and i said yeah but i was lying. so after wards i stumbled to go talk to nelson to see if she tell if my face was a-symetrical. she said i looked fine, i knew i wasnt so i did my best to get to the nurse. i ran into a few people untill jon ran into me and cody saw me out side her class and she walked me to the nurse. and the stupid fucking narks i swear this girl could have been in the fuckin airhead clinic and didnt care. she thought i was making up all this shit ab out being in the hospital last April for 2 weeks and being non normal. so after i called my mom cody walked me brauns to get my homework and then i guess i said a sentence witht the word something in it and she looke dat me funny and we just stopped and she said to say "something" and thats when i knew it was comming back, so i walked to the bathroom to look at myself in the miorr and my smile was crooked. so to make a long story short i i went to children's hospital for 8 hours. i got a shot for vomitting and staroids to make my head ache go away as much as poss and it put me to sleep with in 10 sec. and im just getting out of the sleepy effect and am kinda groggy. so if you werent awear of what happen last time, here is an outline. even though people are going to make fun of me and ask a lot of stupid qestions tomarrow....
- i cant really see out of my right eye, too a certain extent.
- i have no feeling on the right side of my face
- i have no/barley any movement on the right side of my face, mouth...
- i have no taste on the righht side of my tounge
- i have sluered speech, cant say my s's, r's and certain word correctly.
- my smile is really fucked up so dont ask me to smile, if you wanna see what it looks like then do or say somthing funny then stare at me like im strange animal at the zoo....
im not trying to be mean. but you have to understand that last time thins happend people we not the nicest to me. i got poked at like i was a stupid science project, its not cool. i know people think its cool to say things really diffrent and that i cant feel someone touch me on the right side of my face or the face i cant see someone soo close to the right side of my face that their nose is so close to me that i can feel the heat of their breathing on my neck.
so if you ask qestions dont make a big deal out of it unless i seem like im in the mood to have fun and make a stupid ass out of myself at my own exspence...
im out. the sad part about this whole thing is that no one notice i was gone, the qestion is does anyone care?
later during today... (thus could prove my point? or just to realize something new...)
BIGboyCJ11: wats up?
mistheluvyoumost:just tryin to get over been in the hospital
BIGboyCJ11: sounds fun
mistheluvyoumost: not really i got this reocurence back again
BIGboyCJ11: i guess
mistheluvyoumost: yeah well i cant speek right and i have no feeling on my right side so yeah im just doin damn TERIFFIC!
BIGboyCJ11: i guess
mistheluvyoumost: yeah well i dont exspect much saying from u
BIGboyCJ11: y?
mistheluvyoumost: cuz you dont care about me
mistheluvyoumost: i could get hit by a semi and you could just shrugg your sholders
BIGboyCJ11: i kno that
BIGboyCJ11:y u sayin shit like that
mistheluvyoumost: because thats what always happens
BIGboyCJ11: i guess
mistheluvyoumost: i always get sick and know one knows untill i say something and i get responces like you gave me
mistheluvyoumost: i dont think many people care about me and it makes me mad to know if someone i knew ended up in the worst situation i woould be there in a heart beat
mistheluvyoumost: it just makes me sick to know i care so much
BIGboyCJ11: o
BIGboyCJ11: k
mistheluvyoumost: about people who barely care about me
BIGboyCJ11:i have so much enthusiasm
BIGboyCJ11: ya kno
mistheluvyoumost:.
BIGboyCJ11: i guess
this convo made me think a lot. there has only been 3 people who ever showed their love and the fact that they care about me. its just plain sad. Damon was the first person that came to the hospital last time and the weird thing is that yesterday when all this stuff started to happen agian he called me and asked what was "going on" and he said he got this erie feeling that something was wrong... and amber showed up last time too. and i know sean would have been there but he lives in chicago but he called me every day at least 2-3 times.
do the people in my life know that i love, just met, have known for a long time and barely talk to these days know how much they mean to me? i dont think that a person that i havent talked to in the last 2 years would even know that i would be by their side if they ever got hurt in any way... i know how scary it is to be in pain not knowing whats going on. but i do know when someone is by your side, it makes you feel a lot better than any medicine.