realizing something so horrible...

[sweetearsofmine]

i think i finally figured out what my problemis with letting go. even though i can and feel that i have let go of wanting something that i have had before. i realized last night after talking to someone "forbidin to say his name in these grounds" that i still haven't let it all go. and now irealize why. it happens, breakups and then after some good time we become friends who are close and you dont have that "attached" feeling. ive made friends with all of "them" except you. i dont know what you think, about me anymore and it doesnt phase me anymore either. but i finally understand why ive been trying so hard to talk to you and whatnot. its not because i still like you or the fact i cant have you, its because we havent made some kind of repair and make a friendship of some kind.unconciously i guess i just wount let go, i dont know but i think i was trying to meet you on comon ground of some kind. its not because you cant "handel a friendship" its something else. i dont know what it is but thats for you to know.its crazy why i didnt get this till last night. ill have to finish but ill leave this for thought...

" its crazy your like a drug that no one can stand with out for so long,