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[sweetdreamz_27]

Post anything that you want (in comments), and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love...anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.

<3*

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hopes, confessions, fearsm and dreams

[anonymous]

I don't like the person I've become. I feel like my life is going no where. I'm scared to grow up, more than I have so far, and moving away isn't helping. I'm scared to be away from home, where I won't be able to ask for help. And I would be embarrassed to ask for help anyway. I let go of someone who has helped me grow through the years. She was a big part of my life, and we aren't friends anymore. Although she tries to keep in touch with me, and tries to re-build our lost friendship, I deny her existence and plea. I know it's wrong. I can't go back. What has been done, has been done. I'm selfish and inconsiderate, but only towards the ones I love the most. I live a life that he doesn't know about; that he's not included in. That hurts me more than not having my own life all together. I wish I was committed to religion more; have a closer relationship with God, sin a little less, pray a little more, be thankful a little more. I take for granted all that I have. No one looks at me as the person I am, but for what I am not. No one tries to get to know me as who I am, but for what I have, or can do. I wish I could build a new life, that wouldn't contain as many dead ends as this one. I believe in life-after-death reincarnation, and hopefully I will be a dove when I am reborn. I don't want to die a painful death, and I don't want to die too early, or too late. I'm afraid that no one would attend my funeral, and if they do, they won't be too devastated. Their attendance would be more out of respect than to mourn over me. I wouldn't want people to mourn over me too much. They'd get over it within a week or so. I do not want to die.. and leave behind a loved one. If I do have one at the time, I hope (he/she) dies too so that (he/she) is not alone. I wouldn't want (him/her) to become a lonely soul, and wonder why I have left (he/she). This is all I can come up with right now. Drunk and high off my ass. I need to stop with all that too. I will write more when I think of something.