this is the essential part of life
hello world of disjointed teenagers and troubled young adults trying to find a place to make your name known... how i have missed you. ever wonder where the best parts of you went for so long?
ever wonder why you felt you needed to give up what made you comfortable in exchange for acceptence? ok so maybe you never had this problem... i know it's presumptuous to assume that you have...
i miss liking me for the reason i had before this summer came in and made me forget them. it used to be that the only way to breathe was to write a poem or scream really loud...
there is so much to laugh about now... and i really love that that's an option before anger... sadness... hate... and i love that i have the willpower to get through "it". you know, whatever "it" is.
my boyfriend is the coolest guy... who actually wants to be the romantic guy. i mean c'mon how severly uncommon is that anymore? and he so cheeseball and funny. and i know i can be me around him and not give a damn what image that shows... because he thinks i'm swell.
it's funny how a phone call can make you so comfortable... and how long distance doesn't seem as bad when you realize you can make it through.
and i fully have every intention of getting off my butt and going to the wesley house this week... i'll treck myself there all alone if i have to but i need it. i was re-reading some older things i had written in my open diary... man was i passionate. and i hate that i gave that up to have a little fun. especially since fun without the right emotion leads to feeling unfulfilled... not that i regret the things i've done, i just wonder how i can make it different.
i always want to end these things with some hopeful i'm changing my life thing... but the truth is that i can only do so much as one person... and i will work hard to get done what i have available but that doesn't mean that my whole life is going to change completely by tomorrow morning.... or next week for that matter. so i'm going to accept that i'm not going to fix everything as soon as i decide it needs fixing...
and you, well, i think i'll keep you informed...
ever wonder why you felt you needed to give up what made you comfortable in exchange for acceptence? ok so maybe you never had this problem... i know it's presumptuous to assume that you have...
i miss liking me for the reason i had before this summer came in and made me forget them. it used to be that the only way to breathe was to write a poem or scream really loud...
there is so much to laugh about now... and i really love that that's an option before anger... sadness... hate... and i love that i have the willpower to get through "it". you know, whatever "it" is.
my boyfriend is the coolest guy... who actually wants to be the romantic guy. i mean c'mon how severly uncommon is that anymore? and he so cheeseball and funny. and i know i can be me around him and not give a damn what image that shows... because he thinks i'm swell.
it's funny how a phone call can make you so comfortable... and how long distance doesn't seem as bad when you realize you can make it through.
and i fully have every intention of getting off my butt and going to the wesley house this week... i'll treck myself there all alone if i have to but i need it. i was re-reading some older things i had written in my open diary... man was i passionate. and i hate that i gave that up to have a little fun. especially since fun without the right emotion leads to feeling unfulfilled... not that i regret the things i've done, i just wonder how i can make it different.
i always want to end these things with some hopeful i'm changing my life thing... but the truth is that i can only do so much as one person... and i will work hard to get done what i have available but that doesn't mean that my whole life is going to change completely by tomorrow morning.... or next week for that matter. so i'm going to accept that i'm not going to fix everything as soon as i decide it needs fixing...
and you, well, i think i'll keep you informed...