there are just some nights when you need a friend. but tonight there isnt one that can help
Ive never experienced feelings like this before. Im caught between emotions i didnt even know i had. I feel hurt and angry and upset and complete betrayal. I have this devistation and angst building inside of me not sure where its going. WHY do i have to do this to myself and make it all a big deal. Colleen get through it, learn from your mistakes, and get over it. MOVE ON. But i feel like i cant.. cause to me it is a big deal. I put on this mask of bliss everyday. You see me happy, stupid, ecstatic, sarcastic, bitchy, stressed everyday. But theres more to it.. this dead weight of absolute fear and sadness. Im sick of covering it up.. why the fuck should i have to? Im not as strong as i am or anyone else may think i am. And this time it really has make a dent in me.. one that im guessing may just the beginning to a rippling effect.