Long time, no post.
Well, I haven't updated in about a million years so I though I probably should as I've got a few things to talk about.
Firstly, Adam and I have been going though a bit of a rough patch lately, but more on that later. I've also just finished my second term at university and am now home for Easter; pretty nice to have a break from:
Monday = Tutorial + finishing lab report
Tuesday = Preparing for Wednesday's workshop
Wednesday = Workshop + preparing Thursday's lab
Thursday = Labs (11-5) and probably revision for the fortnightly test
Friday = Test (every week or two weeks) + starting lab report + preparing for Adam to visit
Weekend = Lab report + Tutorial work + seeing Adam/friends + helping everyone else with their tutorial or lab report (I'm kind of the Go-to girl for Biology, which I don't mind but can be pretty tiring).
In this holiday I just have one lab report to do (half-way done), an essay and revision for my exams (ulp). I'm going to try to spend a bit more time maxing and relaxing and possibly shootin' some B-ball :P
My course is so far pretty interesting, although we've had some shockingly bad lecturers who just read from their powerpoints (aargh!), but overall I'm still really enjoying university and love being independant. Money is always an issue at the moment, though, as I did't take out a student loan this year and am instead living on inheritence money, but I'm pretty frugal so I'm getting along alright. Money's also an issue at home, too as my Step-dad recently lost his job due to his company going bust. On the bright side, it seems to have brought my mum and him closer together as a couple, which I really admire :)
What else is new? Oh, I ran a 3 mile charity race for Sport relief last Sunday and (with Adam's donation) will have raised over £100 for doing it. I definitely want to run a 10k for the Race for life, hope I haven't got exams then.
Right, on to Adam and I. Well, I think it's been quite hard on us me going away to university as we spent so much time together over the summer (which for me lasted from May until October) and it was weird not being able to see one another as regularly. We talk often on the phone but it's obviously not the same as having a conversation over tea (and hugs!). In addition, a lot of things in my life had built up (money, work, friends, parents, etc.) and I hadn't really talked to anyone, so it ended up with me having a massive emtional vent the weekend before last all over Adam about everything, and got his nice T-shirt wet (sorry!) The long and short of it is that I sometimes felt guilty doing things like watching television becuase Adam has such a strong opinion that they're not productive uses of time, and that I was scared of what was happening in the future with us. I even suggested breaking up as an option, but definitely not one that I wanted -- I want to fight for this relationship rather than just chosing what seems like a cowardly option of opting out of it. After talking to Adam a few days later, I told him that I felt he came across in a very judgemental way and that I'd like it if he toned down the "this is shit" in favour of "well, personally I don't agree". Overall, though, I feel like there was a massive amount of things that I was trying to juggle, so little things in our relationship like that (and distance) suddenly had a much greater magnitude. In addition, I have a tendancy when I'm stressed or worried to let it build up which then affects my ability to deal with other things, or I react to them in a much more negative way than normal. For example, the other evening I wanted to have sex [oh God I'm talking about sex on the internet] and Adam didn't. Normally, I can deal with this and accept the rational reason for it (on this occasion, it was around 1AM and both of us were pretty tired) but becuase I was worried about lots of things and not in the best of health it suddenly seemed like a massive deal. Is he not sleeping with me becuase there's something wrong with me? Am I just not pretty enough today? Ridiculous reasons, right? :P But I can say that now becuase I'm in a much better frame of mind. I think sometimes I've got to accept my own limitations and understand that I won't be able to deal with everything fantastically all of the time, and when I do feel like I'm being self-deprecating, bloody well talk to someone about it. (My mum's great for this kind of thing).
Adam also said that he found it hard to relate to me on issues such a politics, the news and philosophy, which I can understand as I'm usually pretty busy with all of my uni stuff I don't really make time for such things. So! I'm going to try and improve my knowledge (Google news is now my homempage).
Overall, overall (as I said overall once already) I think that Adam and I are a strong couple and that we evidently love and care for one another very much, so I feel that as long as we keep communicating honestly with one another then we'll be more than okay.
Phew. That's probably the longest post I will ever make. Nevermind!
Signing out. x