this is going to be stupid but who cares.. its MY journal
So last night I was thinking. A lot. More than I probably should.. this is what I thought about....
New York. Thats my dream. Go there, Live there, Succeed there. I know I've never been there to be in love with it but I have been in love with it since i was 6. I even got some info on colleges there but of course it costs like $38,000 a year so thats a big no. When I'm 18.. thats the 1st place I'm going. Alone or with everyone, i dont care. I Love New York.
Another thing I was thinking about happened after I read Trac's journal and was almost in tears about everything. I know to certain people what I say will mean nothing but to me it does. It was just a flash back on 2004. I had some great times and some bad ones but in the end I think I'm doing good. I lost some good friends, gained new ones, lost some again but the ones who really care are still around. This summer was an adventure. Did so many things I've never done before. Gone places I've never gone before this year. I had a sleep over after homecoming at Brians, went to NIU, I'm going on a ski trip hopefully soon with my friends. It's all just so much fun. I've grown so much, we all have. Trac and I were talking in the car about how some people we know have grown up so much and we are just now realizing it. I'm not going to point anyone out but its a good change and I like it. This year was just an amazing year to grow and live it up. 2005 has a lot to beat but I'm sure it will. I know it will.
Last thing is... I'm scared to get braces again! I dont know why. I remember when I had braces last time, I didn't smile as much and I don't want that to happen again. I get self-concious about it. Like I feel everyone looks good with braces except me. Some people can pass for it and I cant. grrrrr why now?!?! makes me mad.
oh yeah and my last entry when I was confused, I'm not anymore. Like I am but I'm not. now are you confused? I just need to sort things out. The good thing is though, I know who I am now and theres only 2 things that are confusing to me. one of which I dont think I will ever understand and the 2nd I wish to soon understand.
the other stuff im not putting on here bc its none ya biz-NAS! hah muah love you!
p.s. good job to DGS swim teams. I was actually really getting into it. congrats!
oh and ONE MORE DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!