Sandwiched
Hello, middle age. Hello, small children, ill, aging parent, and critical grandparent.
The weekend before I started my new job, I got a text from my cousin, at her sister's baptism out of town, where all my other family was, that said, "I feel so bad for your mom. Is she ok? Did she go to the hospital?"
Hmmm.
No one knew. So, after calling around, calling her neighbor 3,000 miles away, who determined her car wasn't in the garage, I started calling hospitals.
Long story short, Mom had a kidney stone that had blocked off her kidney and caused a severe infection. She had a very high fever, and they admitted her immediately. They could not do anything about the >3mm stone because the infection was very bad. She wound up staying in the hospital for more days than they expected, and they put a stent in her kidney to allow pee to pass and maybe the stone.
My mom was worried about her mom, who is 96. I tried to talk to Grandma every day. Once they got Mom's infection somewhat under control, they released her. She was supposed to have the stent out a couple days later.
About the 2nd or 3rd day my mom was in the hospital, I called my grandma and she didn't sound good. She lives alone, and she had some issues last year with an infection on her leg, which swells from time to time.
My grandma's legs are like little chicken legs. She has rail-thin legs. She weighs all of 100 pounds soaking wet. She also doesn't like to complain about how she feels. But she told me her leg was bothering her, and she asked me not to tell anyone, because she couldn't go to the doctor, anyway, without my mom to take her.
Grandma lives 3,000 miles away, too. I called my aunt and mentioned that Grandma's leg was bothering her. I started my job; I was busy.
Grandma's leg got very infected with what they later determined was MRSA. I talked to her on that Friday around noon, and by the evening, she had been admitted. The infection had colonized her body, and we thought it was going to be a short goodbye. She got very weak and developed bedsores.
Mom cancelled her surgery to remove the stent and the stone to stay with Grandma.
Grandma eventually stabilized, and they even sent Grandma to a rehabilitation center to learn to walk again, where my 96-year-old grandma is working out 2-3 times a day. Grandma has to wear a mask. Mom spends a lot of time with Grandma, washes her clothes, takes her to the bathroom, etc.
Mom's surgery was postponed a couple times until a month after the stent was inserted. She passed the stone the night before the surgery.
It was a simple outpatient surgery.
I have to interrupt this to say I WISH I COULD GO HOME. I wish I could go help someone. I have a new job & 3 small kids. I don't know how to go about going home, and whether it would even do anyone any good.
So, after I hadn't heard from anyone for 6 hours after the surgery, I called.
My mom developed sepsis. My aunt said she was ok. She had a very high fever. The had to put her on ice and cool her room and take all the blankets. My aunt was not concerned. When I asked my aunt, back in 1994, if I should come see my grandpa when he was sick in the hospital and my mom said he was dying, my aunt said my mom was overreacting. I didn't go. My grandpa died a couple days later. I don't think my aunt has a clue.
My mom sounded horrible, but was more concerned about her reaction to anesthesia than the infection. Having had 3 abdominal surgeries, I know how much anesthesia sucks. I was not concerned about that at all, but it told me that mom is not really understanding what's going on.
I asked my aunt to mention to the doctor, in case mom forgot, that Grandma is colonized with MRSA and mom is her caregiver. I hope she did.
Yesterday morning, Mom took a turn for the worse. She had a tightness in her chest, pain with breathing, and an elevated heart rate. She was afraid it was her heart. I can hear it when talking to her that she is very short of breath. She is not one to complain about pain.
I went all doctor google, and it looks as though mom might have a blood clot. Specifically, a pulmonary embolism. And they are doing all the wrong tests - a chest x-ray, cbc, cultures. I just called the nurse's station at the hospital and told the nurse she has to go check my mom, and that my mom probably didn't tell the doctor everything. She promised she will pass my concern along to the doctor. She said they were more concerned about the sepsis.
No one is doing Grandma's laundry, and Grandma can't make it to the bathroom at the rehabilitation center. She has a lot of accidents. Grandma ran out of clothes. I overnighted her a couple outfits I bought her online. I called the rehabilitation center to verify the address. I found out today they rejected the package for wrong address. Grandma said yesterday all she had to wear was her girdle.
My aunt is doing the best she can. She runs a business that employs a good portion of our family, including my mom. She doesn't have the fortitude to take care of grandma, and she has 4 grandkids she helps with under the age of 3.
I don't think anyone realizes how serious my mom's condition is. I feel so helpless. And I try to talk to everyone on the phone with my 3 kids screaming in the background.
Work is good. I am loving work. Molly's daycare has done wonders for her and Frank. The woman who runs it is some kind of angel. Mimi is having behavior issues, but what else is new.
Anyway, I'm sandwiched. I'm middle-aged. I just assumed my mom would live into her 90s, but I'm starting to panic. Cory's mom and grandma died in 2008 and 2009. We're short on Grandmas around here. I wish I could go home and take care of things, but what could I really do with MRSA contamination (I'll bet you this is what my mom has) and 3 little kids? Ugh.
The weekend before I started my new job, I got a text from my cousin, at her sister's baptism out of town, where all my other family was, that said, "I feel so bad for your mom. Is she ok? Did she go to the hospital?"
Hmmm.
No one knew. So, after calling around, calling her neighbor 3,000 miles away, who determined her car wasn't in the garage, I started calling hospitals.
Long story short, Mom had a kidney stone that had blocked off her kidney and caused a severe infection. She had a very high fever, and they admitted her immediately. They could not do anything about the >3mm stone because the infection was very bad. She wound up staying in the hospital for more days than they expected, and they put a stent in her kidney to allow pee to pass and maybe the stone.
My mom was worried about her mom, who is 96. I tried to talk to Grandma every day. Once they got Mom's infection somewhat under control, they released her. She was supposed to have the stent out a couple days later.
About the 2nd or 3rd day my mom was in the hospital, I called my grandma and she didn't sound good. She lives alone, and she had some issues last year with an infection on her leg, which swells from time to time.
My grandma's legs are like little chicken legs. She has rail-thin legs. She weighs all of 100 pounds soaking wet. She also doesn't like to complain about how she feels. But she told me her leg was bothering her, and she asked me not to tell anyone, because she couldn't go to the doctor, anyway, without my mom to take her.
Grandma lives 3,000 miles away, too. I called my aunt and mentioned that Grandma's leg was bothering her. I started my job; I was busy.
Grandma's leg got very infected with what they later determined was MRSA. I talked to her on that Friday around noon, and by the evening, she had been admitted. The infection had colonized her body, and we thought it was going to be a short goodbye. She got very weak and developed bedsores.
Mom cancelled her surgery to remove the stent and the stone to stay with Grandma.
Grandma eventually stabilized, and they even sent Grandma to a rehabilitation center to learn to walk again, where my 96-year-old grandma is working out 2-3 times a day. Grandma has to wear a mask. Mom spends a lot of time with Grandma, washes her clothes, takes her to the bathroom, etc.
Mom's surgery was postponed a couple times until a month after the stent was inserted. She passed the stone the night before the surgery.
It was a simple outpatient surgery.
I have to interrupt this to say I WISH I COULD GO HOME. I wish I could go help someone. I have a new job & 3 small kids. I don't know how to go about going home, and whether it would even do anyone any good.
So, after I hadn't heard from anyone for 6 hours after the surgery, I called.
My mom developed sepsis. My aunt said she was ok. She had a very high fever. The had to put her on ice and cool her room and take all the blankets. My aunt was not concerned. When I asked my aunt, back in 1994, if I should come see my grandpa when he was sick in the hospital and my mom said he was dying, my aunt said my mom was overreacting. I didn't go. My grandpa died a couple days later. I don't think my aunt has a clue.
My mom sounded horrible, but was more concerned about her reaction to anesthesia than the infection. Having had 3 abdominal surgeries, I know how much anesthesia sucks. I was not concerned about that at all, but it told me that mom is not really understanding what's going on.
I asked my aunt to mention to the doctor, in case mom forgot, that Grandma is colonized with MRSA and mom is her caregiver. I hope she did.
Yesterday morning, Mom took a turn for the worse. She had a tightness in her chest, pain with breathing, and an elevated heart rate. She was afraid it was her heart. I can hear it when talking to her that she is very short of breath. She is not one to complain about pain.
I went all doctor google, and it looks as though mom might have a blood clot. Specifically, a pulmonary embolism. And they are doing all the wrong tests - a chest x-ray, cbc, cultures. I just called the nurse's station at the hospital and told the nurse she has to go check my mom, and that my mom probably didn't tell the doctor everything. She promised she will pass my concern along to the doctor. She said they were more concerned about the sepsis.
No one is doing Grandma's laundry, and Grandma can't make it to the bathroom at the rehabilitation center. She has a lot of accidents. Grandma ran out of clothes. I overnighted her a couple outfits I bought her online. I called the rehabilitation center to verify the address. I found out today they rejected the package for wrong address. Grandma said yesterday all she had to wear was her girdle.
My aunt is doing the best she can. She runs a business that employs a good portion of our family, including my mom. She doesn't have the fortitude to take care of grandma, and she has 4 grandkids she helps with under the age of 3.
I don't think anyone realizes how serious my mom's condition is. I feel so helpless. And I try to talk to everyone on the phone with my 3 kids screaming in the background.
Work is good. I am loving work. Molly's daycare has done wonders for her and Frank. The woman who runs it is some kind of angel. Mimi is having behavior issues, but what else is new.
Anyway, I'm sandwiched. I'm middle-aged. I just assumed my mom would live into her 90s, but I'm starting to panic. Cory's mom and grandma died in 2008 and 2009. We're short on Grandmas around here. I wish I could go home and take care of things, but what could I really do with MRSA contamination (I'll bet you this is what my mom has) and 3 little kids? Ugh.