Im so sick of being here.
random thought: lawn mowers and guys suck.
*sigh*
today is another crappy day.
I'm still in Cali. where its beautiful.
I should be happy right?
nope miserable.
I hate being here knowing that I'm no longer wanted here.
I leave Thursday around like 3 or so.
This summer was a complete and total disaster.
Completely opposite of what I expected.
I guess I am a crappy g/f.
I don't understand though.
when Brian came to visit me everything was perfect and it was literally the best 5 days of my life.
I come here and things just fall apart.
I mean how did that happen?
I guess it was all my fault though because I didn't open up to him.
and by the time I did it was too late.
but I mean I suck at talking about my problems especially if it's someone I care about.
I dont want them to think Im crazy and have all these problems so I hide them.
yea way to not mess up things.
that always happens to me.
I try so hard to not mess things up then what do I do...screw it up even worse.
I hate how Brian always seems so mad and angry at me.
He's miserable with me here and it makes me feel even more horrible because Im stuck here until Thursday.
I just wish that I could wake up and we could start over from the day he picked me up at the airport.
I miss things being normal between us.
I really love him oh so much I just wish he knew that.
*sigh* Im so pathetic.
well I have to try and mow the lawn and stuff before he gets back from work.
later.
*sigh*
today is another crappy day.
I'm still in Cali. where its beautiful.
I should be happy right?
nope miserable.
I hate being here knowing that I'm no longer wanted here.
I leave Thursday around like 3 or so.
This summer was a complete and total disaster.
Completely opposite of what I expected.
I guess I am a crappy g/f.
I don't understand though.
when Brian came to visit me everything was perfect and it was literally the best 5 days of my life.
I come here and things just fall apart.
I mean how did that happen?
I guess it was all my fault though because I didn't open up to him.
and by the time I did it was too late.
but I mean I suck at talking about my problems especially if it's someone I care about.
I dont want them to think Im crazy and have all these problems so I hide them.
yea way to not mess up things.
that always happens to me.
I try so hard to not mess things up then what do I do...screw it up even worse.
I hate how Brian always seems so mad and angry at me.
He's miserable with me here and it makes me feel even more horrible because Im stuck here until Thursday.
I just wish that I could wake up and we could start over from the day he picked me up at the airport.
I miss things being normal between us.
I really love him oh so much I just wish he knew that.
*sigh* Im so pathetic.
well I have to try and mow the lawn and stuff before he gets back from work.
later.