Out of Water
So, my work blocked gmail(and other sites) today, and it seriously panicked me, and it took me a bit to figure out why.
Gmail, its task list, and its calendar, are how i've been organizing, understanding and basically surviving with the appearance of knowing wtf's going on for maybe 5 years? I don't know what the shit i'm doing without it. I'm going to think about it for a couple days, and then put together a new compensating system. my archaic phone can't really help me, and i don't really want it to. A small, highly structured, expensive item representing hordes of abstract possibilities is something that actually makes me almost hyperventilate to think about. I can't describe how much phones freak me out in the first place, and how i lose and destroy things with a frequency seemingly related directly to their importance and expense.
Gmail is free, acessible anywhere, and doesn't bug me, and most importantly I CAN"T LOSE IT.
habit should keep me on course for another day or so, but i'm seriously out of my element. Gmail tells me what day it is, whether i should go to the grocery store, the spacing of my meds.
There's a whole lot that's unhinging me at the moment, but this is a great big heaping helping of DO NOT WANT.
Gmail, its task list, and its calendar, are how i've been organizing, understanding and basically surviving with the appearance of knowing wtf's going on for maybe 5 years? I don't know what the shit i'm doing without it. I'm going to think about it for a couple days, and then put together a new compensating system. my archaic phone can't really help me, and i don't really want it to. A small, highly structured, expensive item representing hordes of abstract possibilities is something that actually makes me almost hyperventilate to think about. I can't describe how much phones freak me out in the first place, and how i lose and destroy things with a frequency seemingly related directly to their importance and expense.
Gmail is free, acessible anywhere, and doesn't bug me, and most importantly I CAN"T LOSE IT.
habit should keep me on course for another day or so, but i'm seriously out of my element. Gmail tells me what day it is, whether i should go to the grocery store, the spacing of my meds.
There's a whole lot that's unhinging me at the moment, but this is a great big heaping helping of DO NOT WANT.