(no subject)

[sweetbabykisses]

as the tears stream down she wipes her own eyes theres no one else there her friends dont know what shes been through or why she doesnt want them to shes too strong for sympathy too weak for pain ha she cant handle anymore, though its quite likely some will soon be handed to her on that silver platter her father has no trouble passing his along to her he doesnt talk to her anymore or care...she walks along that lonley path, n whenever she stumbles she sits there for hours, wanting to never have to get up again...if she sits forever she doesnt have to face anybody, no teachers no friends, none that care none that dont, none that she loves none that she doesnt, no one could give her a hard time or a good one, no one would make fun or laugh, no one would love or help, she wouldnt have to deal with classes, pressure would be gone, pleasure would too, people couldnt touch her, she would be numb to all their thoughts and gestures...as she sits on the ground and prays for this heaven to stay upon her, she realizes there is still homework to do so she gets up and finds a pencil, goes back to mindless work and pain, snaps back real life...she hopes to fall again sometime soon for she can only have this ecstasy place when shes cold and alone...in society, pain and sadness arent alowed, she smiles fake smiles and laughs fake laughs, but they dont know what hurt there is for her, theres a brief escape from pain, sorrow, and life...wish it could be forever, the feeling of falling to your face on the floor...its better than life and better than love the floor forgives, it wont hurt, at least emotionally, it cant love, and it comforts...her best friend
she doesnt want sympathy or help...just understanding, she wishes there was someone out there who truley understood...