(no subject)
i feel like i'm growing away from everyone. it's so frustrating because i feel so helpless. like i can't do anything to change what's happenning. i don't know what it is about this week. i'm sad. i haven't been happy at all this week, except for a few times, sledding and wondering "if i were a vagina, what would i wear?" with chris. i hate having the feeling of needing something, and searching your mind and never finding what it is.
i feel so unwanted. this entire entry sounds so depressing, i hope nobody frowns reading it. but i feel like everyone has someone else except me. everyone's moving so fast and smiling and laughing and living. i'm stuck in place and people are passing me by. waving and laughing and smiling. everywhere.
i don't think that people know how dependant i am.
i wish i could wake up and spend the day with myself. feel ok with myself. but i don't because then i get those feelings that i'm waving goodbye to everyone before even meeting them. I don't KNOW.
i don't know what's wrong with me today. i can't understand it.
it's all blurry and i can't.
do sighs always lead to tears?
i feel so unwanted. this entire entry sounds so depressing, i hope nobody frowns reading it. but i feel like everyone has someone else except me. everyone's moving so fast and smiling and laughing and living. i'm stuck in place and people are passing me by. waving and laughing and smiling. everywhere.
i don't think that people know how dependant i am.
i wish i could wake up and spend the day with myself. feel ok with myself. but i don't because then i get those feelings that i'm waving goodbye to everyone before even meeting them. I don't KNOW.
i don't know what's wrong with me today. i can't understand it.
it's all blurry and i can't.
do sighs always lead to tears?