(no subject)
i rollerbladed on my own today. I was panting and gasping for air before i even got to meadowbrook, but you know how it goes. I realized today that I've gotta have faith. Not to mock the song, but I have to have faith in me. Faith that I'm a strong person, and I CAN deal with anything that comes along. I boarded up my corner today. I decided long ago that it wasn't the place for me. I think it was leaving all along, slowly but surely, seeping out, with me unconsious to it. I might miss it, the comfort of it. I know, though, that without it I can't help smiling. Can't help realizing I've made it. We all have. I continued my gratitude list today and realized I couldn't stop writing. My pen just kept going and my brain shut off. There's so much around me to keep me going, and so little to stop me. It's so unfortunate how much we look at the small things instead of what's right in front of us. Life. I said before our imperfections are what makes us beautiful. It's the curl in my hair, the shortness of my legs, the color of my skin, the mole next to my belly button, it's everything that makes me ME. There will always be those superficial people in this world, ones who look past our beauty and see what's wrong, rather than what's different. I have faith in everything that's real. Everything that means something, everything that I see in my friends. Without faith where would we be? I hate to imagine it. We've never been given a definite answer to any of our questions, and maybe we never will be. I've looked inside myself and outside and I've never been able to hold the answer in my hand. I've never even been close. But I don't need answers. I'm not empty without them. I am filled with other things. Filled with laughter and a hunger for life. I will get them someday, I'm sure. But why waste the seconds we have here looking for why we're here? Why not just be? Why not just live?