Just ranting...
So the other day i fell into a total bitch fit. And here is what i wrote
Sittign alone, Assuming i'm lost, i find myself. The person i am is someone that has "no" life. The one i am living has lost its "Zest." Am i supposed to realize this at such a young age? At 16 i can say i have been a child, raised children, Payed house payments, bought a truck, Fallen in love, Fell out, Had my heart broken, helped many people, set goals, met them, grown older and i have lived a pretty full life. I have lived my fullfilled life all too soon. Instead of feeling 16 i feel like i am 60 trapped in a young body. I have matured faster than anyone i know. Maybe it is because i have so many life experiences and have been through alot.
All of my friends are older than thirty because most under that age are too imature for me. Odd? I feel as if i never truely had an internal child because it had been gone since i hit 8. If my body were a truck, my engine would be missing a transmission and all of my parts would be falling out from the inside.
Why do i always have to be the adult? Why do i need to be the one with the right answers? When am i going to fit in in society? Probably never. What more do i have to look forward to? Parents yelling, people always needing me, no time for myself. Life is the most unrewarding job.
I feel as if enough mental damage has been caused and enough time has passed for the limit on my life. Sure i want to get married, sure i want to be great but in all reality none of that matters to anyone.
I didn't like coming into this world (every baby doesn't ), so what am i supposed to expect when leaving? Something blissful, romantic, NO
none of that bullshit i expect it to be painful, heart wrenching and i expect to die slowly.
I'm tired of people taking advantage of me. They know i will do anything for them but they are oushing it too far now. I cannot even walk down my street without someone wanting something from me.
Anyways just needed to vent.
thanks guys
Sittign alone, Assuming i'm lost, i find myself. The person i am is someone that has "no" life. The one i am living has lost its "Zest." Am i supposed to realize this at such a young age? At 16 i can say i have been a child, raised children, Payed house payments, bought a truck, Fallen in love, Fell out, Had my heart broken, helped many people, set goals, met them, grown older and i have lived a pretty full life. I have lived my fullfilled life all too soon. Instead of feeling 16 i feel like i am 60 trapped in a young body. I have matured faster than anyone i know. Maybe it is because i have so many life experiences and have been through alot.
All of my friends are older than thirty because most under that age are too imature for me. Odd? I feel as if i never truely had an internal child because it had been gone since i hit 8. If my body were a truck, my engine would be missing a transmission and all of my parts would be falling out from the inside.
Why do i always have to be the adult? Why do i need to be the one with the right answers? When am i going to fit in in society? Probably never. What more do i have to look forward to? Parents yelling, people always needing me, no time for myself. Life is the most unrewarding job.
I feel as if enough mental damage has been caused and enough time has passed for the limit on my life. Sure i want to get married, sure i want to be great but in all reality none of that matters to anyone.
I didn't like coming into this world (every baby doesn't ), so what am i supposed to expect when leaving? Something blissful, romantic, NO
none of that bullshit i expect it to be painful, heart wrenching and i expect to die slowly.
I'm tired of people taking advantage of me. They know i will do anything for them but they are oushing it too far now. I cannot even walk down my street without someone wanting something from me.
Anyways just needed to vent.
thanks guys