Keep up the doodling
I feel compelled to post something here. I took some pictures of my enormous belly but I don't have the physical motivation to find the camera cable. It's really enormous. I am 38.5 weeks pregnant so instead of talking about the baby in relation to fruits I can now say, "The baby is the size of an ACTUAL human baby." Like if they were to crack open my belly like a watermelon a real human would pop out and be able to breathe, cry and shit. It's tremendously uncomfortable. Like before I thought it was uncomfortable but now it's a real uncomfortable, bloated treasure chest full of bones and fat and blood that likes to barrel roll at night. You can see her butt from the outside!
Also doctor's appointments have become a real treat. Spoiler Alert! About 3 weeks ago my doctor started shoving a lubed hand into my crotch to check the ripeness of my cervix. This means that she sticks a finger in to what feels like uterus infinity and then measures how many fingers she can continue to insert. In any other circumstance, I'd say it was a delightful romp. Not so on these occasions, however. But in my reading I've come across mentions of something called "stripping membranes," and using an apparatus inserted into your cervix that is a balloon that fills with air as your organ is stretched, so the slight foray into doctor assisted fisting is ok for now. And then there's the whole birth thing. Did you know that a lot of people SHIT on the delivery table and that you're NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT!? No one ever tells you that part.
Also doctor's appointments have become a real treat. Spoiler Alert! About 3 weeks ago my doctor started shoving a lubed hand into my crotch to check the ripeness of my cervix. This means that she sticks a finger in to what feels like uterus infinity and then measures how many fingers she can continue to insert. In any other circumstance, I'd say it was a delightful romp. Not so on these occasions, however. But in my reading I've come across mentions of something called "stripping membranes," and using an apparatus inserted into your cervix that is a balloon that fills with air as your organ is stretched, so the slight foray into doctor assisted fisting is ok for now. And then there's the whole birth thing. Did you know that a lot of people SHIT on the delivery table and that you're NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT!? No one ever tells you that part.