(no subject)
i'm having a complete meltdown.
the one thing that i need right now is missing, and no one knows where it is, oddly i am not responsible for it being missing, however i am the only one who gets fucked for it being lost.
you know how when your driving down the road people slow down to stare at traffic accidents, i want to be that traffic accident right now. A gruesome, mangled mess on the side of the road that everyone gasps at. it wouldn't be much of a stretch since that's how i feel right now anyway.
my optimism disappeared so quickly, i've got nothing right now to sustain me. knowing i'm a disappointment. it doesn't really matter what you say to me about it i can't think otherwise. i've been fed enough it'll work out bullshit that its come out my ass, mouth, and ears at this point.
the worst part of all of it is having to constantly be around people and field the same questions of what are you doing, and then feel horribly embarassed when the only answer i have is i am looking for a job. my pride has never hurt so badly, i don't even want to get out of bed anymore.
maybe someone should come slap me across the face a few time, because clearly i haven't learned my lesson yet, and therefore probably deserve nothing more than to have the shit kicked out of me.
the one thing that i need right now is missing, and no one knows where it is, oddly i am not responsible for it being missing, however i am the only one who gets fucked for it being lost.
you know how when your driving down the road people slow down to stare at traffic accidents, i want to be that traffic accident right now. A gruesome, mangled mess on the side of the road that everyone gasps at. it wouldn't be much of a stretch since that's how i feel right now anyway.
my optimism disappeared so quickly, i've got nothing right now to sustain me. knowing i'm a disappointment. it doesn't really matter what you say to me about it i can't think otherwise. i've been fed enough it'll work out bullshit that its come out my ass, mouth, and ears at this point.
the worst part of all of it is having to constantly be around people and field the same questions of what are you doing, and then feel horribly embarassed when the only answer i have is i am looking for a job. my pride has never hurt so badly, i don't even want to get out of bed anymore.
maybe someone should come slap me across the face a few time, because clearly i haven't learned my lesson yet, and therefore probably deserve nothing more than to have the shit kicked out of me.