(no subject)
i'm keepin this one short(ish)...
well, yesterday auntie N was acting like the cranky bitch that she is... mom argued with her, and as usual i kinda got dragged into it. i swear that woman is so evil, she says such nasty things. her heart is just black, because i couldn't imagine thinking half of the things she says, let alone feeling them and saying them. i know i've got a big mouthy, but she's just nasty and spiteful. hate is a strong word, so instead i'm just gona say i feel nothing when it comes to her. she doesn't exist. anyhow, it led to me eating outa depression... felt really crap.
also yesterday, i gave into a moment of weakness and text sean... i couldn't help it. i didn't expect any acknowledgement back, i just wanted to wish him luck for his finals. i guess me feelin so down had something to do with wanting to speak to him (even though technically, i didn't). spoke briefly to kareena, and she pissed me off cos she had nothing to say. she'll only have time to talk if it's about her, and i wasn't in the mood for the same old crap. i think i was kinda harsh cos she said i was acting like a cow, but whatever. i spoke to shaye afterwards. i don't like him like that... he's a good friend. boy, does he talk though! i always end up havin deep conversations with him... intelligence is so cool. i ended up goin to sleep at about 2am, which wasn't good because i had an exam today (messed up... again) and he had work.
so today, apart from my crap exam, i woke up and sean had text back... i was tempted to just ignore him. oh yeh, i text him yesterday to wich him luck and he didnt even bother sayin it back. he sooo doesn't deserve me givin a shit about him. anyhow... i decided i would text him back, which i did after my exam. he text back (surprise!) and i was gona carry on the conversation but then i thought to myself 'no, i don't wana anymore.' i'm gona leave him hangin... let's see how it makes him feel. i know he thinks i'm gona call him tonite, but i'm not gona. i'm not ever gona call him... textin is about the limit right now. maybe one day when we just don't speak at all, i'll email him... we'll see... and i really should stop wasting my time thinking about these sort of things.
that's all for now, apart from the fact that i haven't really stuck to my diet today. i haven't binged, i guess i've just eaten like a normal person (shock horror). 2mrw will be cool, and i know i say this everyday, but i'm not gona stress cos the exam today has tired me out... and yeh, i shouldn't make excuses, blah blah blah, but today, i'm cool... no beating myself up over this.
well, yesterday auntie N was acting like the cranky bitch that she is... mom argued with her, and as usual i kinda got dragged into it. i swear that woman is so evil, she says such nasty things. her heart is just black, because i couldn't imagine thinking half of the things she says, let alone feeling them and saying them. i know i've got a big mouthy, but she's just nasty and spiteful. hate is a strong word, so instead i'm just gona say i feel nothing when it comes to her. she doesn't exist. anyhow, it led to me eating outa depression... felt really crap.
also yesterday, i gave into a moment of weakness and text sean... i couldn't help it. i didn't expect any acknowledgement back, i just wanted to wish him luck for his finals. i guess me feelin so down had something to do with wanting to speak to him (even though technically, i didn't). spoke briefly to kareena, and she pissed me off cos she had nothing to say. she'll only have time to talk if it's about her, and i wasn't in the mood for the same old crap. i think i was kinda harsh cos she said i was acting like a cow, but whatever. i spoke to shaye afterwards. i don't like him like that... he's a good friend. boy, does he talk though! i always end up havin deep conversations with him... intelligence is so cool. i ended up goin to sleep at about 2am, which wasn't good because i had an exam today (messed up... again) and he had work.
so today, apart from my crap exam, i woke up and sean had text back... i was tempted to just ignore him. oh yeh, i text him yesterday to wich him luck and he didnt even bother sayin it back. he sooo doesn't deserve me givin a shit about him. anyhow... i decided i would text him back, which i did after my exam. he text back (surprise!) and i was gona carry on the conversation but then i thought to myself 'no, i don't wana anymore.' i'm gona leave him hangin... let's see how it makes him feel. i know he thinks i'm gona call him tonite, but i'm not gona. i'm not ever gona call him... textin is about the limit right now. maybe one day when we just don't speak at all, i'll email him... we'll see... and i really should stop wasting my time thinking about these sort of things.
that's all for now, apart from the fact that i haven't really stuck to my diet today. i haven't binged, i guess i've just eaten like a normal person (shock horror). 2mrw will be cool, and i know i say this everyday, but i'm not gona stress cos the exam today has tired me out... and yeh, i shouldn't make excuses, blah blah blah, but today, i'm cool... no beating myself up over this.