(no subject)
nothing much has really happened recently other than the fact i'm still a lil pissed off that this weight isn't coming off faster... nevertheless, i'm gona write an update on the chaos that is my life.
well, everyone is all excited about the wedding this saturday. i spoke to kareena yesterday and she said there are gona be loadsa guys there... this is good because it means i'll have lots of distractions to forget about sean, but it's bad because i'm such an elephant and now i feel even more self conscious. i have no idea what to wear... kareena said she's not gona bother getting too dressed up, but she always says that just so she can look better than everyone else. i've learnt my lesson from past experience, i'm not telling anyone what i'm gona wear (not that i have a clue right now anyhow, but still...).
oh yeh, i kinda had a mini slip up with my diet on sunday night... i had a bowl full of strawberries and some coconut and rum ice cream... and that's it! although i cheated, i'm glad it wasn't a big blowout like how it usually is. i still wish i hadn't, but hey, i'm not perfect. i thought maybe it might kick start my metabolism... funny thing was that i wasn't even that hungry. i'm so confusing, i baffle myself sometimes.
i can't lose this weight!!! i eat exactly the same amount everyday, i exercise, and i've already begun to plateau after just ten days or so... that SUCKS!!! i have to be 130lbs by the end of this month... i wana buy a treadmill, cos i hate running around on the streets. i don't particularly like running anyhow, but something's gota be done. i miss having my body the way it used to be... i used to work hard, and i wish i could find that same motivation right now. it's like i'm the girl i used to be, but i'm stuck in a fat person's body... my biggest inspiration right now is me, the way i used to be... except when i get there, i'll improve on that.
perhaps i'm overly ambitious...? but isn't it better to aim higher rather than just not at all? the only person putting restrictions on everything is me. if i want things to change, i'm gona have to change myself. i think it was gita bellin who said:
if one desires change, one must be that change before that change can take place.
sooooooo true.
all in all, i'm not as depressed as i was before... i guess we all gota have bad days. i'm just getting impatient. i've lost nine pounds so far, i just gota remember that and focus on losing the rest. it's not impossible, i can do this... i'm gona leave this on a positive note (for a change)... xx
well, everyone is all excited about the wedding this saturday. i spoke to kareena yesterday and she said there are gona be loadsa guys there... this is good because it means i'll have lots of distractions to forget about sean, but it's bad because i'm such an elephant and now i feel even more self conscious. i have no idea what to wear... kareena said she's not gona bother getting too dressed up, but she always says that just so she can look better than everyone else. i've learnt my lesson from past experience, i'm not telling anyone what i'm gona wear (not that i have a clue right now anyhow, but still...).
oh yeh, i kinda had a mini slip up with my diet on sunday night... i had a bowl full of strawberries and some coconut and rum ice cream... and that's it! although i cheated, i'm glad it wasn't a big blowout like how it usually is. i still wish i hadn't, but hey, i'm not perfect. i thought maybe it might kick start my metabolism... funny thing was that i wasn't even that hungry. i'm so confusing, i baffle myself sometimes.
i can't lose this weight!!! i eat exactly the same amount everyday, i exercise, and i've already begun to plateau after just ten days or so... that SUCKS!!! i have to be 130lbs by the end of this month... i wana buy a treadmill, cos i hate running around on the streets. i don't particularly like running anyhow, but something's gota be done. i miss having my body the way it used to be... i used to work hard, and i wish i could find that same motivation right now. it's like i'm the girl i used to be, but i'm stuck in a fat person's body... my biggest inspiration right now is me, the way i used to be... except when i get there, i'll improve on that.
perhaps i'm overly ambitious...? but isn't it better to aim higher rather than just not at all? the only person putting restrictions on everything is me. if i want things to change, i'm gona have to change myself. i think it was gita bellin who said:
if one desires change, one must be that change before that change can take place.
sooooooo true.
all in all, i'm not as depressed as i was before... i guess we all gota have bad days. i'm just getting impatient. i've lost nine pounds so far, i just gota remember that and focus on losing the rest. it's not impossible, i can do this... i'm gona leave this on a positive note (for a change)... xx