self confidence/self esteem issues
i just realized i have very little self esteem and self confidence and it's starting to affect the way i operate in life, especially in social settings. I don't speak up because i think no one would really care what i have to say. I don't make contributions during group discussions at school or in meetings for very much the same reason. I always criticize myself or apologize when i have to make oral presentations or reports because i just don't think what i have to say is any good. this defies logic as i know i'm an intelligent, rational person with lots good to say. i don't know what causes this issue in me but i think i t has something to do with the abuse and being told i was dirt constantly. it's something i am trying really hard in counselling to get over but it's very very difficult