(no subject)
I want a personal library.
Not a building (though that'd be cool) but a room in a house where I can put all of my books in shelves, have comfy furniture, possibly a fireplace for the winter, and a basic atmosphere that allows a person to read in peace.
I am eighteen years old. I am about to go into college. When I leave and eventually own a house, I plan on making this happen.
Well, that and I plan on owning a bunch of cats.
Finished reading The Shining. I have such a love/hate relationship with the movie.
For one thing, the movie was directed by Stanley Kubrick, and it had Jack Nicholson in it (which I honestly loved, because everytime I read the book, I saw Jack Nicholson as...well, Jack). For another, it didn't really follow the book that closely. It had some of the scenes, but the movie doesn't focus on a huge part of the book, which is the relationship between Jack and Danny. In the movie, Jack just loses his mind and tries to kill his family. In the book, the ghosts of the hotel drive Jack insane, and his family knows this. The movie doesn't really show that the hotel is possessing him.
I know it's weird for me to be analyzing this when the movie/book came out thirty years ago or something like that, but Jack Torrance is one of my favorite characters, and it's such a shame that a brilliant combination for a movie based on an amazing book can go...so wrong =\.
Also, I didn't like that Shelley Duvall played Wendy. I will ignore my personal thoughts that I think she is very unattractive, and simply say that she didn't look like a normal woman who was going hysterical as the book depicts. She looks hysterical throughout the entire movie. I know Stanley Kubrick treated the actress like shit so that she would look right when she was supposed to be hysterical, except...she looked like that during the entire movie, so...it didn't really work?
Nonetheless, I still like the movie because of Jack Nicholson. When I read the book, I see him as Jack Torrance, so I will forever love the movie, if only to see a few scenes that are like the book as long as Jack is playing them.
Fitchburg test tomorrow. God, I've been studying all week as if this were a final. All I want is to get into the basic math II class. I've always been average at math, and this is an average class, so I really just want to stay at the level I am if I can't go up. Maybe it's my pride speaking, but I really don't want to be in a class that is lower than the level of math I can do, just because a computer is grading my test.
Thursday, getting my wisdom teeth out. God, this week is going to suck so much. I've always been fine in the past with getting shots, and stitches and getting blood taken out, but I'm a bit squicky about getting four teeth pulled out. I know I'll be knocked out, but it's waking up with bloody gauze in my mouth that's worrying me.
Got a Lucille Ball metal sign at a craft fair to hang up in my college dorm this fall. It's neat, it has a picture of her on it, and a quote of hers as well.
Also, I was talking to the guy about random stuff and he was really nice, and we started to talk about The Shining, and he let me have a poster for 25% of the original price. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with the poster (it's the picture of Jack Nicholson saying the, "Here's Johnny!" line, so it's terrifying) since if I hang it, I'm sure my roommate will scream to death everytime she looks at it, but it was a good deal, so I got it. Maybe I'll hang it up in my apartment if I have one in the future. Who knows, if a burgular comes in, maybe the picture will scare him too.
I still miss my friend. I have his number, so I could always text him, but he doesn't have mine, so it'd be awkward that I have his. And I'm not sure what I could really say to him that doesn't sound slightly creepy. He and his girlfriend are really happy, so I in no way want to do anything to ruin their relationship (which is why I'm not admitting to myself that I may like him as more than a friend). I don't know, do I sould paranoid because I'm afraid that if I ask him if he wants to hang out, then it'll look like I'm flirting with him? I'd like to think not, but then again, when I was in his class, I'd almost always tell the stories I'd meant to tell him to my friend that sat next to me, because his girlfriend sat next to him, so that when a conversation started between me and him, it'd be because he heard me telling my other friend about it, and decided to talk to me first. I cannot even count the amount of times I went home at the end of the day, worrying that I'd accidentally been flirting with him, even though all I'd done was talk to him and laugh a lot (because he is a funny guy, he always has been). It's probably because of that that I was so stressed last semester (that, and other things...). And I never flirt on purpose. I don't think I've ever flirted with anyone with the intention of flirting, so if it happens, it's not intentional. I'm not that kind of person. I don't have enough confidence to pull it off.
I know the best thing to do would be to use the summer and beginning of college to slowly forget about him and move onto my new life, except...I don't want to forget about him. He's part of the group of friends who helped me in school become more confident and actually become a bit more happy, and I love them for that, and I have a million great memories that involve him, and I don't want to look back on them, only to realize that I don't talk to him anymore.
When college starts, I'm going to comment on his facebook to wish him luck (we have a joke about us getting shot at college, since we're both going to city schools after attending a small town high school) when school starts, but I really don't want to wait that long to talk to him. =/
If that makes me sound desparate, then I guess it doesn't help my case that I occasionally go to the grocery store he works out hoping for an off chance to see him so that I can say hi? It hasn't worked either.
Yeah, I'm a bit mental. But, that's why I'm explaining it all here. If you think this makes me mental, imagine what my friends would think if I told them.
Wish me luck this week! Oh I need it.