(no subject)
talked to mom the other day to see if i can figure out some of this missing time in my childhood basically all i could ask about was about being sick and how often and what from few things here. in early 81 i guess being a baby there were some fires in florida some right in my own backyard that my throat would clog up and i couldnt breathe and was put in the hospital on an oxygen mask for 10 days i think she said i remember the oxygen mask trying to fight it i didnt want it on me i was a baby then why can i remmebre that and not other stuff oh well in time in time. then she said i had menigitus(spelling) and stuff and she said i was always sick when i was younger then a yr old. then she said something about milk again and i asked she goes u were always sick and finally when u were a yr old the drs said it was the milk and then i was put on soybe not regular milk like everyone else drinks. heres the funny part mom goes are you going back to your baby stage cause u cant drink milk or eat much milk products i just laughed. but i hear going back to stuff like that is part of this process of healing maybe not to that extent but its there we have to relearn stuff. trust love believing in ourselves learning how to feel and to express what we are feeling and not hide what i am feeling. man i am so cold im sure its gotta be above 70 back here but im still frozen and bored and hungry and mad and blank and i dont know.