all that's waiting is regret / KaiSoo & SeKai Drabble
Title: all that's waiting is regret
Pairing: kaisoo, onesided!sekai, platonic!hunhan
Rating: g
Genre: slight!angst, romance
Length: 825w total
Summary: You don't have to understand love to feel the pain.
all that's waiting is regret
I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
0. Love is smoking a cigarette, addiction and death curling into rings of smoke and poisoning your lungs. Love is a ball of yarn, tangling between humans as they pass each other, pulling them apart and then tugging them together again. Love is a smile that understands you when you cannot understand yourself, believes in you when you cannot believe in yourself, and assures you that the thorns of the rose of love were not going to prick you and draw blood. Love is a lie that tells you that you will not be hurt, but once the clock strikes twelve and the dream ends, you fall from the glittering, glass pinnacle, spiraling towards the nadir.
I. Sometimes Kyungsoo is full of shy smiles and innocent blinks as he glances up at Jongin through his full lashes, grinning brightly. Sometimes, Jongin feels something tugging at his heartstrings as he stares at Kyungsoo from the sidelines, silently wondering if what he’s feeling is something akin to pain or something entirely different.
II. Sehun isn’t as oblivious and as uncaring as everyone thinks he is. He may look sleepy all the time, and he may reply to questions with insolent and laconic one-word answers, but he notices things. He notices the way Jongin instinctively gravitates towards Kyungsoo, and the way Kai will momentarily slip when D.O flashes him a soft smile, and the way Kyungsoo would blush at Jongin’s gaze and turn away, only to glance back seconds later.
Sehun also notices the way his chest clenches painfully tight when Jongin wraps an arm around Kyungsoo and whispers in his ear about what he wants for dinner, and how well Kyungsoo sang during the performance today, and heaven knows what else. Sehun often wonders why it hurts.
III. Luhan is Sehun’s best friend and mentor. He knows Sehun, and he watches as Sehun’s frown deepens with every passing second. He watches as Sehun refills yet another cup of beer and watches as Sehun ditches the cup entirely and drinks directly from the bottle. Luhan knows why Sehun is hurting, but he doesn’t know how to fix him, and it hurts him too.
IV. Kyungsoo realizes Jongin’s feelings after Luhan bursts into his room, door swinging dangerously on its hinges, and lets out a tirade of angry words. He says many things that Kyungsoo cannot understand, words like “Jongin,” and “love,” and “Sehun,” and “it hurts, do you know it hurts?” He thinks he’s just about to understand when he sees Jongin slip into the room and place a hand on Luhan’s shoulder. Kyungsoo can’t help but think that the touch is terribly cold, what with the look Jongin gives Luhan. Luhan glares at Jongin and roughly shrugs the hand off. He wavers for a moment, as if he is searching for the right words to insult Jongin with. In the end, he spins around with an angry and weary sigh and leaves, sparing Kyungsoo one more glance. Kyungsoo thinks he looks tired. Very tired.
Jongin looks at Kyungsoo with a sort of unreadable expression for an awfully prolonged second before turning towards the door as well.
“I’m sorry,” is the last thing Jongin says before he leaves.
IV. Kyungsoo doesn’t really know how his lips became attached to Jongin’s, but they are, and his chest feels like it’s about to explode. He instinctively wraps his arms around Jongin’s neck and pulls himself closer to him, chests pressed flush together. He can feel Jongin stiffen, but then he relaxes and kisses him back. Kyungsoo thinks he might be in heaven. When Kyungsoo finally pulls away, he smiles shyly, pressing another chaste kiss to Jongin’s parted lips.
“You don’t have to be sorry.”
III. Luhan is tired of picking up Sehun’s pieces, and he’s tired of Sehun refusing to let him help piece him back together. He’s tired of Sehun pushing him away, telling him that he’s fine, when he most definitely is not.
Luhan screams at Sehun-it’s the first time-and rips the covers away from Sehun’s grasps. As he wraps his arms around Sehun’s shaking shoulders, he thinks that the gesture is vaguely symbolic.
II. Sehun cries and cries, and his tears soak through Luhan’s shirt and heart, but he continues to cling on to his best friend, letting loose the anguish that had been drowning his heart and lungs. He still doesn’t really know why he’s crying, nor does he know why he wants to punch Jongin in the stomach and then shred the single photograph of the two of them that he’s kept on his bedside table. He only knows that the stars shine a bit brighter when Jongin’s with him, and even the nightingale that sings lonely under the moonlight seems to croon with happiness.
But, as Luhan tucks him into bed, his soft voice floating towards him, and as Sehun is slowly drifting into unconsciousness, he thinks maybe-well, just maybe-he was (is?) in love with Jongin.
I. Jongin isn’t as oblivious and as uncaring as everyone thinks he is. He may look sleepy all the time, and he may reply to questions with insolent and laconic one-word answers, but he notices things. He notices the way Sehun’s eyes seem to light up when he’s around, and the way he seems to cling to Jongin, all the while trying to keep his mask of indifference, and the way Sehun’s eyes would be trained to him when he laughs with Kyungsoo.
Jongin doesn’t know what to do, and he hears Luhan’s sharp words to Kyungsoo, feeling them stab at his heart like the shattered pieces of Sehun’s love. But, as he feels Kyungsoo’s lips move against his, he realizes that he never did-and never will-have a place in his heart for anyone but Kyungsoo.
0. When Sehun wakes up the next day, he feels the same heavy feeling in his chest and a dull pounding in his head. He tries to remember the cause of that suffocating pain he had felt last night, but he can’t seem to recall anything from the day before, except for the incessant drinking and the comforting words of Luhan.
He glances at his side table and sees the single photograph of him and Jongin together. He smiles.
Perhaps one day, Sehun will realize that he was in love with a certain boy named Kim Jongin. For now, he blinks at the blinding sunrays sneaking through his curtains and locks the feelings away in his heart.
He ignores the pain.
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
A/N: title inspired by christina perri's jar of hearts. certain lines inspired by f. scott fitzgerald.
Pairing: kaisoo, onesided!sekai, platonic!hunhan
Rating: g
Genre: slight!angst, romance
Length: 825w total
Summary: You don't have to understand love to feel the pain.
all that's waiting is regret
I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
0. Love is smoking a cigarette, addiction and death curling into rings of smoke and poisoning your lungs. Love is a ball of yarn, tangling between humans as they pass each other, pulling them apart and then tugging them together again. Love is a smile that understands you when you cannot understand yourself, believes in you when you cannot believe in yourself, and assures you that the thorns of the rose of love were not going to prick you and draw blood. Love is a lie that tells you that you will not be hurt, but once the clock strikes twelve and the dream ends, you fall from the glittering, glass pinnacle, spiraling towards the nadir.
I. Sometimes Kyungsoo is full of shy smiles and innocent blinks as he glances up at Jongin through his full lashes, grinning brightly. Sometimes, Jongin feels something tugging at his heartstrings as he stares at Kyungsoo from the sidelines, silently wondering if what he’s feeling is something akin to pain or something entirely different.
II. Sehun isn’t as oblivious and as uncaring as everyone thinks he is. He may look sleepy all the time, and he may reply to questions with insolent and laconic one-word answers, but he notices things. He notices the way Jongin instinctively gravitates towards Kyungsoo, and the way Kai will momentarily slip when D.O flashes him a soft smile, and the way Kyungsoo would blush at Jongin’s gaze and turn away, only to glance back seconds later.
Sehun also notices the way his chest clenches painfully tight when Jongin wraps an arm around Kyungsoo and whispers in his ear about what he wants for dinner, and how well Kyungsoo sang during the performance today, and heaven knows what else. Sehun often wonders why it hurts.
III. Luhan is Sehun’s best friend and mentor. He knows Sehun, and he watches as Sehun’s frown deepens with every passing second. He watches as Sehun refills yet another cup of beer and watches as Sehun ditches the cup entirely and drinks directly from the bottle. Luhan knows why Sehun is hurting, but he doesn’t know how to fix him, and it hurts him too.
IV. Kyungsoo realizes Jongin’s feelings after Luhan bursts into his room, door swinging dangerously on its hinges, and lets out a tirade of angry words. He says many things that Kyungsoo cannot understand, words like “Jongin,” and “love,” and “Sehun,” and “it hurts, do you know it hurts?” He thinks he’s just about to understand when he sees Jongin slip into the room and place a hand on Luhan’s shoulder. Kyungsoo can’t help but think that the touch is terribly cold, what with the look Jongin gives Luhan. Luhan glares at Jongin and roughly shrugs the hand off. He wavers for a moment, as if he is searching for the right words to insult Jongin with. In the end, he spins around with an angry and weary sigh and leaves, sparing Kyungsoo one more glance. Kyungsoo thinks he looks tired. Very tired.
Jongin looks at Kyungsoo with a sort of unreadable expression for an awfully prolonged second before turning towards the door as well.
“I’m sorry,” is the last thing Jongin says before he leaves.
IV. Kyungsoo doesn’t really know how his lips became attached to Jongin’s, but they are, and his chest feels like it’s about to explode. He instinctively wraps his arms around Jongin’s neck and pulls himself closer to him, chests pressed flush together. He can feel Jongin stiffen, but then he relaxes and kisses him back. Kyungsoo thinks he might be in heaven. When Kyungsoo finally pulls away, he smiles shyly, pressing another chaste kiss to Jongin’s parted lips.
“You don’t have to be sorry.”
III. Luhan is tired of picking up Sehun’s pieces, and he’s tired of Sehun refusing to let him help piece him back together. He’s tired of Sehun pushing him away, telling him that he’s fine, when he most definitely is not.
Luhan screams at Sehun-it’s the first time-and rips the covers away from Sehun’s grasps. As he wraps his arms around Sehun’s shaking shoulders, he thinks that the gesture is vaguely symbolic.
II. Sehun cries and cries, and his tears soak through Luhan’s shirt and heart, but he continues to cling on to his best friend, letting loose the anguish that had been drowning his heart and lungs. He still doesn’t really know why he’s crying, nor does he know why he wants to punch Jongin in the stomach and then shred the single photograph of the two of them that he’s kept on his bedside table. He only knows that the stars shine a bit brighter when Jongin’s with him, and even the nightingale that sings lonely under the moonlight seems to croon with happiness.
But, as Luhan tucks him into bed, his soft voice floating towards him, and as Sehun is slowly drifting into unconsciousness, he thinks maybe-well, just maybe-he was (is?) in love with Jongin.
I. Jongin isn’t as oblivious and as uncaring as everyone thinks he is. He may look sleepy all the time, and he may reply to questions with insolent and laconic one-word answers, but he notices things. He notices the way Sehun’s eyes seem to light up when he’s around, and the way he seems to cling to Jongin, all the while trying to keep his mask of indifference, and the way Sehun’s eyes would be trained to him when he laughs with Kyungsoo.
Jongin doesn’t know what to do, and he hears Luhan’s sharp words to Kyungsoo, feeling them stab at his heart like the shattered pieces of Sehun’s love. But, as he feels Kyungsoo’s lips move against his, he realizes that he never did-and never will-have a place in his heart for anyone but Kyungsoo.
0. When Sehun wakes up the next day, he feels the same heavy feeling in his chest and a dull pounding in his head. He tries to remember the cause of that suffocating pain he had felt last night, but he can’t seem to recall anything from the day before, except for the incessant drinking and the comforting words of Luhan.
He glances at his side table and sees the single photograph of him and Jongin together. He smiles.
Perhaps one day, Sehun will realize that he was in love with a certain boy named Kim Jongin. For now, he blinks at the blinding sunrays sneaking through his curtains and locks the feelings away in his heart.
He ignores the pain.
I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
A/N: title inspired by christina perri's jar of hearts. certain lines inspired by f. scott fitzgerald.