"u deserve better, u need to move on now, instead of later before it gets worse"
so wow, i havent written in quite some time. a lot has happened, ups and downs, ins and outs. good times and def. bad times. Ive gotten closer with so many ppl, including megan, nicky b, cliver, dom, jimmy, jess reim, dave and yes even dan. Idk, its just probably the most stable ive ever felt in my life. I feel like i fit in? i guess u can say. I love all of my other friends, dont get me wrong, i just dont hang out with them as much, i feel left out, and idk.
but so yeah this week has been awesome, a lot of days and at megans, sleepovers on trampolines, layin out and lookin at the stars and just having really deep talks, movies..haha i cried in the longest yard, baseball games...megan almost got beat up lol. so ill write about this week....
so this week has been awesome, to officially kick off summer, me, jess and meg went to the carnival and it was "hella fun", o man, i had a good time except for the effin tornado, lol. yea so dan, cliver and nicky b went there too, which was loads of fun, and i met my hero....RICHIE!! haha then later that nite, ant and me snuck out and met megan and layed on the golf course and just talked and sutff, haha the SPRINKLERS AND THE TREES!!! lol, so yea i didnt go to school the next day, which was yesterday, our last day, ijust stayed in ad got my heart broken again.
im taking advice from someone, who im currently fighting with, lol, we always fight, but hes always there for me, and hes a great friend when he wants to be...."u deserve better, u need to move on now, instead of later before it gets worse" thats wat he said to me, and im following it. i'm closing out this chapter in my life. The door of my first real love had always been left open, caz i was told that u cant 4get about them and that there's always the chance to rekindle wat u had. Well i thought so, but that door is now closed. Hes changed so much, i dont even know who he is ne more. Hes lied to me, broken my heart, and isnt even talking to me at the moment. i dont know wat to do, i had so much hope for us, if u even knew wat he told me. and now i guess all im asking for is his friendship but i know iwont even get that. And it sux becaz of wat i went threw with him. he was my first real love, and i wont EVER for get him, EVERRRRR....he was the first person i opened up to about everything, the first guy who made me feel like i was the world, the first person to ever except me truly for who i was. he was simply my first in every way possible. I loved him with every bit of who i was. but its time to move on, finally, im going to pick up and move on.....i dont wanna say i deserve better, becaz the person he used to be was just right for me, but i do deservebetter then the person he is now. im closing, completely closing this chapter in my life, never to go bak to it again. if he wants to be friends then ok, but its gonnabe hard rite now, all i kno is that imnever letting him bak into my life as nething more then a friend, ever.....not even in the future....i cant do it, i cant fall for him as hard as i do and be hurt again ( the damn pyscic was right again ). i feel a little better, but weird, becaz he was just always there. and its gonna take time, but i need to do this....its over, its done and i hope hes happy.
LAST NITE WAS FUNNNN!!!1 BESIDES the drama which there is always going to be, i had fun. i saw scott thomas rickenbach, i <3 him hxc. he picked me a pretty flower, o man i missed hangin with him and everyone else, like stevie, dom, cooie and mark, yea they were all there. <333 and it was fun, after that, me and meg just went to daves with dom and called 1328172172 pizza places at like 1 in the morning, lol.
in better news, I LOVE MY TWIN AND IM HERE RIGHT now at her house, lol. i got a job, finally, at my dad's work, start tomorrow, a little excited well not really, lol. im making money tho.....good thing about that and ill get to go out for lunch with my dad and all the big bosses. haha fun. but yea, i mgonna do something fun tonite since i have to work tmm and then go straight to my cuzins birthday party (dads family) and then sunday i have the twins baptism (moms family). too much family in one weekend. haha.
<3 love me.
but so yeah this week has been awesome, a lot of days and at megans, sleepovers on trampolines, layin out and lookin at the stars and just having really deep talks, movies..haha i cried in the longest yard, baseball games...megan almost got beat up lol. so ill write about this week....
so this week has been awesome, to officially kick off summer, me, jess and meg went to the carnival and it was "hella fun", o man, i had a good time except for the effin tornado, lol. yea so dan, cliver and nicky b went there too, which was loads of fun, and i met my hero....RICHIE!! haha then later that nite, ant and me snuck out and met megan and layed on the golf course and just talked and sutff, haha the SPRINKLERS AND THE TREES!!! lol, so yea i didnt go to school the next day, which was yesterday, our last day, ijust stayed in ad got my heart broken again.
im taking advice from someone, who im currently fighting with, lol, we always fight, but hes always there for me, and hes a great friend when he wants to be...."u deserve better, u need to move on now, instead of later before it gets worse" thats wat he said to me, and im following it. i'm closing out this chapter in my life. The door of my first real love had always been left open, caz i was told that u cant 4get about them and that there's always the chance to rekindle wat u had. Well i thought so, but that door is now closed. Hes changed so much, i dont even know who he is ne more. Hes lied to me, broken my heart, and isnt even talking to me at the moment. i dont know wat to do, i had so much hope for us, if u even knew wat he told me. and now i guess all im asking for is his friendship but i know iwont even get that. And it sux becaz of wat i went threw with him. he was my first real love, and i wont EVER for get him, EVERRRRR....he was the first person i opened up to about everything, the first guy who made me feel like i was the world, the first person to ever except me truly for who i was. he was simply my first in every way possible. I loved him with every bit of who i was. but its time to move on, finally, im going to pick up and move on.....i dont wanna say i deserve better, becaz the person he used to be was just right for me, but i do deservebetter then the person he is now. im closing, completely closing this chapter in my life, never to go bak to it again. if he wants to be friends then ok, but its gonnabe hard rite now, all i kno is that imnever letting him bak into my life as nething more then a friend, ever.....not even in the future....i cant do it, i cant fall for him as hard as i do and be hurt again ( the damn pyscic was right again ). i feel a little better, but weird, becaz he was just always there. and its gonna take time, but i need to do this....its over, its done and i hope hes happy.
LAST NITE WAS FUNNNN!!!1 BESIDES the drama which there is always going to be, i had fun. i saw scott thomas rickenbach, i <3 him hxc. he picked me a pretty flower, o man i missed hangin with him and everyone else, like stevie, dom, cooie and mark, yea they were all there. <333 and it was fun, after that, me and meg just went to daves with dom and called 1328172172 pizza places at like 1 in the morning, lol.
in better news, I LOVE MY TWIN AND IM HERE RIGHT now at her house, lol. i got a job, finally, at my dad's work, start tomorrow, a little excited well not really, lol. im making money tho.....good thing about that and ill get to go out for lunch with my dad and all the big bosses. haha fun. but yea, i mgonna do something fun tonite since i have to work tmm and then go straight to my cuzins birthday party (dads family) and then sunday i have the twins baptism (moms family). too much family in one weekend. haha.
<3 love me.