Hi everyone!
Update time! LOL! I had WeightWatchers tonight and I lost 12.8 lbs. I dont think anyone can say they went on vacation for a certain amout of time and managed to come back and lose almost 13 lbs. I told a few of my ww buddies, about Eddie. they're happy for me and wish me the best of luck. Ive lost 148.6 lbs now. Shiela's got me an appt. with her therapist tomorrow afternoon. Im going to listen to him, but Im still going to be with eddie. Nobody can talk me out of it. Im doing this for me and me only. My parents are so freaking worried that eddie will come after me, because he's got a mental illness. Heidi said he wont come after me. Even Uncle Ed said the same thing and heidi said if he does, she, tom or david will come kick his ass. My mom is very hurt that I cant come to her and talk about eddie's problems, but I can come to shiela.
I said well for one thing, I feel un comfortable coming to you because im afraid u'll sit their and judge me and that Ive always felt more comfortable coming to my friends. thats just how I am. I said yes I want to wait and see what happends with dad and I pray that he doesnt have cancer and she goes, "and if he does, ur still goinig"? In my mind, I wanted to yell @ her, but I just shook my shoulders. I cant let my dad being sick, stop me from finding true love and happiness. They're afraid and so worried that eddie will come after me, with a knife or worse. Eddie is pissed @ my parents, because of how they've been treating me - emotionally wise. he doesnt like how its effecting me. he understands that they're concerned, but Im an adult. Im 23.
I told my mom to please stop babying. let me do this on my own. she thinks im gonna quit WW and that sure as hell an't gonna happen. Eddie even told me lastnight that if I did, he'd drag my ass down to the nearet meeting. He fully supports me going to WW. he's happy that im doing this. he's worried about my health and because im still so heavy, but he's glad that im doing this now, while Im young. I just wish my parents would actually support me. yes i understand that they're very concerned and worried about me. but let me take that chance. she's like,what are yall gonna do, when its time for u to have that plastic surgery done?
how are u going to pay for WW? what are u gonna do, if yall have a baby and eddie's illness is traced to that baby? im like, that hasnt even come up yet, because i told him I wasnt going to have sex till im emotionally ready. she goes, what if u turn him down 5 or 6 times and he gets upset with u? my mom said, lets just wait and see what the therapist says. i said ok fine, but im still going mom and im sorry u feel that way. she wanted to know why i havnt talked to them about this lately. im like mom, i wanted things to cool down. she's like, but its been since sunday. im like ya mom. dad still needs to cool off too. i knew the arguing and stuff would happen. im emotionally drained, because everytime i opne up and talk to them, they start laying on the guilt trips on me and thats not far. to them, i'll always be there baby girl.
no matter where I live, I'll always love them. they think that im abanoning them and thats not true. she keeps saying, u can have a new life down here and meet new people. she said i dont have anyone up their. yes I do. I have friends. she does, what friends? i said ummm...heidi's friends and such. my mom acted like she didnt want to hear that. im frustrated, but im not gonna let them get to me. i have to be strong. I feel in my heart, this is the right thing to do. I told my mom that im doing this because im taking a chance @ being happy and stuff. i said, if it took me to have a vacation for 3 weeks and to be around a new envornment and be around new people, then so be it. ya know? i'll be leaving the 1st week of june. If i cant get a ride from my folks to OIA, I'll have one of my friends from ww take me or sheila.
I dont want to leave on bad terms. it might come down to it, but i hope not. if they really want me to be happy, then they're eventually going to have to let me go. im not 16 anymore. ya know? my mom says that me following my heart, isnt the right way to do this. I know myself and my heart, betta than anyone else. Heidi said me and Eddie could do this. she believes eddie really does care for me. Eddie and I, want to be with each other. we make each other happen. I didnt think I could fall in love with him, but I did. Im not happy right now. I feel like ive been stabed in the heart. I feel complete when im with eddie. I finally found someone that WANTS to be with me. Eddie loves me for who i am. My mom goes, so what, u accept eddie for all his problems, and he just accepts u because ur fat? oh thats somethig i wanna hear from my own mother. nice huh? I go, no mom its not like that.
Eddie is afraid the longer i stay down here, the more my parents are gonna convince me to stay and i told him, oh hell no baby! that wont happen! he goes, good. just promise me ur still coming up and i said of course baby, i pormise. he sent me an e-card yesterday and wrote a poem inside and its so sweet. eddie just takes my breath away. I'll be there for him, for support in everything and he'll be theire for me.
I said well for one thing, I feel un comfortable coming to you because im afraid u'll sit their and judge me and that Ive always felt more comfortable coming to my friends. thats just how I am. I said yes I want to wait and see what happends with dad and I pray that he doesnt have cancer and she goes, "and if he does, ur still goinig"? In my mind, I wanted to yell @ her, but I just shook my shoulders. I cant let my dad being sick, stop me from finding true love and happiness. They're afraid and so worried that eddie will come after me, with a knife or worse. Eddie is pissed @ my parents, because of how they've been treating me - emotionally wise. he doesnt like how its effecting me. he understands that they're concerned, but Im an adult. Im 23.
I told my mom to please stop babying. let me do this on my own. she thinks im gonna quit WW and that sure as hell an't gonna happen. Eddie even told me lastnight that if I did, he'd drag my ass down to the nearet meeting. He fully supports me going to WW. he's happy that im doing this. he's worried about my health and because im still so heavy, but he's glad that im doing this now, while Im young. I just wish my parents would actually support me. yes i understand that they're very concerned and worried about me. but let me take that chance. she's like,what are yall gonna do, when its time for u to have that plastic surgery done?
how are u going to pay for WW? what are u gonna do, if yall have a baby and eddie's illness is traced to that baby? im like, that hasnt even come up yet, because i told him I wasnt going to have sex till im emotionally ready. she goes, what if u turn him down 5 or 6 times and he gets upset with u? my mom said, lets just wait and see what the therapist says. i said ok fine, but im still going mom and im sorry u feel that way. she wanted to know why i havnt talked to them about this lately. im like mom, i wanted things to cool down. she's like, but its been since sunday. im like ya mom. dad still needs to cool off too. i knew the arguing and stuff would happen. im emotionally drained, because everytime i opne up and talk to them, they start laying on the guilt trips on me and thats not far. to them, i'll always be there baby girl.
no matter where I live, I'll always love them. they think that im abanoning them and thats not true. she keeps saying, u can have a new life down here and meet new people. she said i dont have anyone up their. yes I do. I have friends. she does, what friends? i said ummm...heidi's friends and such. my mom acted like she didnt want to hear that. im frustrated, but im not gonna let them get to me. i have to be strong. I feel in my heart, this is the right thing to do. I told my mom that im doing this because im taking a chance @ being happy and stuff. i said, if it took me to have a vacation for 3 weeks and to be around a new envornment and be around new people, then so be it. ya know? i'll be leaving the 1st week of june. If i cant get a ride from my folks to OIA, I'll have one of my friends from ww take me or sheila.
I dont want to leave on bad terms. it might come down to it, but i hope not. if they really want me to be happy, then they're eventually going to have to let me go. im not 16 anymore. ya know? my mom says that me following my heart, isnt the right way to do this. I know myself and my heart, betta than anyone else. Heidi said me and Eddie could do this. she believes eddie really does care for me. Eddie and I, want to be with each other. we make each other happen. I didnt think I could fall in love with him, but I did. Im not happy right now. I feel like ive been stabed in the heart. I feel complete when im with eddie. I finally found someone that WANTS to be with me. Eddie loves me for who i am. My mom goes, so what, u accept eddie for all his problems, and he just accepts u because ur fat? oh thats somethig i wanna hear from my own mother. nice huh? I go, no mom its not like that.
Eddie is afraid the longer i stay down here, the more my parents are gonna convince me to stay and i told him, oh hell no baby! that wont happen! he goes, good. just promise me ur still coming up and i said of course baby, i pormise. he sent me an e-card yesterday and wrote a poem inside and its so sweet. eddie just takes my breath away. I'll be there for him, for support in everything and he'll be theire for me.