truth
i'm waiting daily... it hurt to wait further and further without much progress in ur life. it is like u are stuck in that part of life and never to proceed again.
sometimes i wonder if there is a small chance that some one else in the world will understand mi. for example, when suki says ' dun worry i understand' there is a kind of euphoria that i get and finally someone understands mi. but it is hard to say if the other party understands simply because u are nt the other party.
it is well with my soul... even if the world crashes down on mi. with God things will be alright. but sometimes there is a harsh voice that tells mi ' THERE IS NO GOD, GOD IS NOT HERE TODAY' and yet... i still hope there is, hopling without believing, having faith.
many times i comtemplate suicide because i dont think i can handle life any longer. but even at dying. i fail to do so. many times i hav a certain hope in a certain individual even thougth countless times i hav been let down. what is Man ? nothing but a weakling. and
so am i.
reading an tuesday entry that finally popped up after many pages of refreshing. i realise that we are somewhat similiar. perhaps we run to hide in some sanctuary. perhaps we both run from things that we would like to do.
but i think that we are puppets of God. not having a personal will. merely puppets for his entertainment. we cannot decide our own fate. even when i'm typing this. it is his will... since we were made for him. to serve him. to be his slaves. but its always said in a nicer way.
my chlldren.
sometimes i wonder if there is a small chance that some one else in the world will understand mi. for example, when suki says ' dun worry i understand' there is a kind of euphoria that i get and finally someone understands mi. but it is hard to say if the other party understands simply because u are nt the other party.
it is well with my soul... even if the world crashes down on mi. with God things will be alright. but sometimes there is a harsh voice that tells mi ' THERE IS NO GOD, GOD IS NOT HERE TODAY' and yet... i still hope there is, hopling without believing, having faith.
many times i comtemplate suicide because i dont think i can handle life any longer. but even at dying. i fail to do so. many times i hav a certain hope in a certain individual even thougth countless times i hav been let down. what is Man ? nothing but a weakling. and
so am i.
reading an tuesday entry that finally popped up after many pages of refreshing. i realise that we are somewhat similiar. perhaps we run to hide in some sanctuary. perhaps we both run from things that we would like to do.
but i think that we are puppets of God. not having a personal will. merely puppets for his entertainment. we cannot decide our own fate. even when i'm typing this. it is his will... since we were made for him. to serve him. to be his slaves. but its always said in a nicer way.
my chlldren.