here I go.. again on my own..
Well.. its been awhile since I've been to the land of LJ.. and I apologize! It's just easier to update my Xanga.. and a lot of people from school have them too, so I can guarantee my entries get read.. feel free to go check that out though.. my name is SiimplyCrAziie over there.. anyway.. I got a new room-mate... she may have come at 8:30 in the morning after I had just went to bed at oh.. about 4:30 or 5.. so I wasn't too pleasant when she first met me.. but we get along really well now..her name is Lisa. She plays softball too.. so thats great.. she has an incredible sense of humor.. but she makes fun of me for being short a lot :( Haha.. its all in good fun though. I like a new boy.. he's a lot of fun.. our personalities are a lot alike.. we're both loud and obnoxious but shy.. he's a virgin.. and he hasn't done anything sexually.. he came over on Sunday and we watched Ninja Turtles 2 (the secret of the ooze haha) in my room.. and he was almost afraid to touch me.. I finally got him to hold my hand ;) then he left for a little while and called me asking if he could come back because he wanted to see me :) So he came back and ended up staying the night with me.. he was absolutely fascinated by how soft my stomach was (yay for quench lotion.. haha) and kept pulling me close to him.. but was still being shy and reserved.. I wanted him to kiss me.. but he never did :( but his shyness is such a turn on I swear.. it drives me wild.. but right now we're not really "talking" because he's scared... he's never been in a real relationship before, and he says he feels intimidated by what Joey and I had. I've told him that I'm not wanting that right now.. I'm not ready to be completely serious again this soon.. but I'm also not looking for someone to just mess around with. I duno how things will go with him.. Catherine is good friends with one of his good friends, and they both say he'll come around. I haven't talked to him since lunch yesterday though.. his uncle died and he had to go out of town.. I saw him twice before he left.. but he didnt talk to me.. I'm chalking it up to him being upset.. but we'll see what goes on when he gets back. I havent been having too good a week.. mostly because of Brian (oh.. I just realized that was the first time I said his name.. haha) and I's conversation late Wednesday night (which is when he said he wanted to back off a little) and then.. on Thursday.. everything went waaaaaaaaay downhill. Of all people to show up on campus.. who shows their face but BRANDON Yep.. mister "I'm too good to stop by and say good bye like I said I would" I was on my way outside to see how snow football was going since I was writing a paper and couldnt partake.. and I was talking to Casey and Paul, and I look up and I see a tall dark headed figure walking this way.. and my heart skipped a beat and fell into my shoes and I got a funny feeling in my stomach. It was him. He walks up to us standing there, and walks straight to me and pushes my forehead making my head go backwards like he always used to, and then reaches down and hugs me. I about melted right then and there, and he whispered hey you into my ear and then let me go.. but not before giving me a good squeeze. Then, he shook hands with Paul and Casey, looked at us all and said "see you guys in the fall" waved, and walked away. I watched him walk away for a minute, and he must have sensed it, because he turned around before he got too far, and smiled that ridiciously gorgeous smile at me, winked and turned around and walked away. I turned around and sighed and Casey asked me if I was okay.. and all I could do was nod. I knew if I tried to speak the tears would come flowing.. so I just went back into my room and sat on my bed for about 20 minutes.. just staring into space.. then I lost it. I miss him incredibly too much.. I was fine until he showed up here.. I had stopped thinking about him everyday.. just occasionally when I'd glance over at his picture.. and now I cant stop again sigh I'll be okay... I can't let myself be this way.. so I guess I'll see him in the fall.. and who knows.. maybe something will be there.. but who knows what I'll have by then.. I don't really have much more to say... I have some work things to get done.. I'll try to update tomorrow and more often.. love you all.. especially you Julie