Your Cucumber-fetishism Is Weird
Dear f-list,
I don’t really know how to tell you this,but our socks don't match. I think I realized it when I quoted Forest Gump in your apartment and I saw you put whipped cream on my DVD box.I'm sure you’re slutty enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning the pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep your photo with the mustache drawn on i as a memory. You should also know that I confessed today about the moose poaching, and well your Cucumber-fetishism Is Weird.
With tears of sadness,
Colette.
*snagged from firstillusion :)
Dear, (put in name)
I don’t really know how to tell you this,but (1)I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) with (5).I'm sure you’re (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10), and well (11). (12),(Your name).
(1) What’s the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other -I dislike your eyelashes
(2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When you put cuffs on me
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you smacked my ass
July - When I quoted Forest Gump
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When you finally changed your underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In a clown suit
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In your apartment
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other- With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Carve your initials into
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Put whipped cream on
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - At the mental hospital
Barefoot - Sit on the couch
Other - Drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Brown - The Montreal Canadians goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd (which totally rocks btw)
Pink - My DVD box
None - My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other --The hobo in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - vexed
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Other - Slutty
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exsist
Other - That your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your Hannah Montana underwear
Yellow - The cut toenails
Red - Your toe ring
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - Our matching snoopy underwear
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Grey - The couch cushions
Purple - Your love letters to me
Pink - Your nose hair clippers
Other - The pictures from Vegas
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your collection of butterflies
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbor's dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - My virginity
S/T - Your credit cards
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your mom
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Haven’t showered in a month
C/D - ill tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
E/F - am better off without you
G/H - Hate your cooking
I/J - Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Always will remember the pep talksW
M/N - confessed today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Never will forget that night
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Y/Z - Get sick when I think of your feet
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink - I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda - I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Juice - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water - I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Hot chocolate - Your Cucumber-fetishism Is Weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer - you should stop picking your nose
Other - Thanks for the Cocaine
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Italy - Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China - You make me sick
Germany - Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Kiss my butt
England- Go drown yourself..
"I'm sure you’re slutty enough to understand how awful you are" this is my fav part LMAO.
Anyways, guys, i think my day got a little better :)
I was already upset with Ben for being mean to me & also in front of his friend (does he think he is cool that way???). & i still am. I didn't talk to him & don't intend too in the couple days. He is 13 but that doesn't give him a reason to be such a jerk.
Anyways, my dad sent me money today & to pick it up i needed an ID, which means my passport. I started freaking out when i couldn't find it until I remembered that it was in California XD Yeah... so thanks God, they accepted my Cameroonian ID to get the money :)
Then i got this unknown number phone call, & of course I didn't pick up XD Well once i checked my e-mail, i saw 2 messages from the UK embassy. The first one said that they didn't have all the stuffs & therefore it will take them 10 days to process my case XD I was soooooo sad at that moment. So then i look at the 2d message and the lady that works at the embassy e-mailed me to tell me that she had been trying to reach me on the phone & that she wanted me to call her back. I didn't know if they were still open so i called anyways and she was still at her office! She asked me few questions and then told me that they would issue me the visa either tomorrow or saturday!!!
And that made my day!
I am sooo happy now i don't even know what to do xD
I guess i will photoshop.
xoxo
I don’t really know how to tell you this,but our socks don't match. I think I realized it when I quoted Forest Gump in your apartment and I saw you put whipped cream on my DVD box.I'm sure you’re slutty enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning the pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep your photo with the mustache drawn on i as a memory. You should also know that I confessed today about the moose poaching, and well your Cucumber-fetishism Is Weird.
With tears of sadness,
Colette.
*snagged from firstillusion :)
Dear, (put in name)
I don’t really know how to tell you this,but (1)I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) with (5).I'm sure you’re (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10), and well (11). (12),(Your name).
(1) What’s the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other -I dislike your eyelashes
(2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When you put cuffs on me
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you smacked my ass
July - When I quoted Forest Gump
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When you finally changed your underwear
3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In a clown suit
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In your apartment
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other- With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Carve your initials into
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Put whipped cream on
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - At the mental hospital
Barefoot - Sit on the couch
Other - Drive over
5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Brown - The Montreal Canadians goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd (which totally rocks btw)
Pink - My DVD box
None - My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other --The hobo in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - vexed
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Other - Slutty
7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exsist
Other - That your driving sucks
8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your Hannah Montana underwear
Yellow - The cut toenails
Red - Your toe ring
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - Our matching snoopy underwear
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Grey - The couch cushions
Purple - Your love letters to me
Pink - Your nose hair clippers
Other - The pictures from Vegas
9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your collection of butterflies
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbor's dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - My virginity
S/T - Your credit cards
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your mom
10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Haven’t showered in a month
C/D - ill tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
E/F - am better off without you
G/H - Hate your cooking
I/J - Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Always will remember the pep talksW
M/N - confessed today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Never will forget that night
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Y/Z - Get sick when I think of your feet
11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink - I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda - I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water - You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Juice - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water - I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Hot chocolate - Your Cucumber-fetishism Is Weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer - you should stop picking your nose
Other - Thanks for the Cocaine
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Italy - Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China - You make me sick
Germany - Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Kiss my butt
England- Go drown yourself..
"I'm sure you’re slutty enough to understand how awful you are" this is my fav part LMAO.
Anyways, guys, i think my day got a little better :)
I was already upset with Ben for being mean to me & also in front of his friend (does he think he is cool that way???). & i still am. I didn't talk to him & don't intend too in the couple days. He is 13 but that doesn't give him a reason to be such a jerk.
Anyways, my dad sent me money today & to pick it up i needed an ID, which means my passport. I started freaking out when i couldn't find it until I remembered that it was in California XD Yeah... so thanks God, they accepted my Cameroonian ID to get the money :)
Then i got this unknown number phone call, & of course I didn't pick up XD Well once i checked my e-mail, i saw 2 messages from the UK embassy. The first one said that they didn't have all the stuffs & therefore it will take them 10 days to process my case XD I was soooooo sad at that moment. So then i look at the 2d message and the lady that works at the embassy e-mailed me to tell me that she had been trying to reach me on the phone & that she wanted me to call her back. I didn't know if they were still open so i called anyways and she was still at her office! She asked me few questions and then told me that they would issue me the visa either tomorrow or saturday!!!
And that made my day!
I am sooo happy now i don't even know what to do xD
I guess i will photoshop.
xoxo