all dressed up, no place to go
It's quite possible this is all rampaging girlmones in anticipation of the advancement of the Redcoat Army but at any rate
It started I think when I got down bad sick with that stupid respiratory infection and was not drawing for a while. All of a sudden it was like my brain forgot how to draw. And then it just went on from there. I do not know what has been wrong with me the past few weeks but I am so upset and frustrated I'm at the point of crying.
It's not burn-out I know that. The ideas and the inspiration have not gone away, quite the opposite in fact. They are so TIGHTLY CRAMMED in my skull I think they are smothering and
I
HAVE
NO
OUTLET
FOR
THEM
That's just the thing. I try to draw and the proportions go all weird and funky on me. I try to write and the words will not come. The ideas and pictures and scenes are all there in my head but somewhere between the brain and the hand, something's steadily cramping the flow there tighter than the Hoover Dam. H and I just started revisiting a wonderful story of ours we began writing in college and I started off all gung-ho with it and then I tried to draw the characters and write scenes with my two characters to get back in the swing of things and it is
NOTTTTTT
WORRRRKINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG
AND I AM SO SO FRUSTRATED. I love this story and I was looking forward to revisiting it like an old friend and this damned brain cramp is just ruining my enthusiasm for it harrggghhhhhhhhh. And I've tried noodling around a bit with writing the second half of Zugzwang thinking maybe if I switch up things a little it'll start the flow again but no I've BOGGED down with that too. And I wanted to start working on The Devil's Machinery draft by the end of August. But nooooooooo the words will not come for it either ughhhh. Any thing I try to do with writing or art my brain just sits there going " herp-a-derp " Nothing is CONNECTING and the ideas just keep building up regardless.
I am so upset and I don't know what to do and I don't know what I SHOULD do. I don't know what magical formula will loosen things up. When winter comes around things generally tend to slow down and stop with H and mine's writing sessions and I don't know if I can get over this before that happens and I just feel there's all this time that can go towards working and developing these stories and such and it is SLIPPING AWAY and being WASTED. The thought of that drives me INSANE, it's just as frustrating to think about as not being able to shake the ideas loose in my head.
I am so pent-up feeling and frustrated and sad and angry I just. UGH. I don't know what to do at all. But I don't want to just stop and throw my pencils in the air or toss my computer out the window or something and sit there and weep and bemoan my art block. I'm trying really hard to keep going regardless, to continue drawing and writing. But this feeling is like trying to pass a damn creative kidney stone or something. It's torment. I know that sounds overly dramatic, but it really is, to have the ideas and not be able to get them out properly.
I wish I knew what to do. Ugh. Facedeskkkkk.
It started I think when I got down bad sick with that stupid respiratory infection and was not drawing for a while. All of a sudden it was like my brain forgot how to draw. And then it just went on from there. I do not know what has been wrong with me the past few weeks but I am so upset and frustrated I'm at the point of crying.
It's not burn-out I know that. The ideas and the inspiration have not gone away, quite the opposite in fact. They are so TIGHTLY CRAMMED in my skull I think they are smothering and
I
HAVE
NO
OUTLET
FOR
THEM
That's just the thing. I try to draw and the proportions go all weird and funky on me. I try to write and the words will not come. The ideas and pictures and scenes are all there in my head but somewhere between the brain and the hand, something's steadily cramping the flow there tighter than the Hoover Dam. H and I just started revisiting a wonderful story of ours we began writing in college and I started off all gung-ho with it and then I tried to draw the characters and write scenes with my two characters to get back in the swing of things and it is
NOTTTTTT
WORRRRKINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG
AND I AM SO SO FRUSTRATED. I love this story and I was looking forward to revisiting it like an old friend and this damned brain cramp is just ruining my enthusiasm for it harrggghhhhhhhhh. And I've tried noodling around a bit with writing the second half of Zugzwang thinking maybe if I switch up things a little it'll start the flow again but no I've BOGGED down with that too. And I wanted to start working on The Devil's Machinery draft by the end of August. But nooooooooo the words will not come for it either ughhhh. Any thing I try to do with writing or art my brain just sits there going " herp-a-derp " Nothing is CONNECTING and the ideas just keep building up regardless.
I am so upset and I don't know what to do and I don't know what I SHOULD do. I don't know what magical formula will loosen things up. When winter comes around things generally tend to slow down and stop with H and mine's writing sessions and I don't know if I can get over this before that happens and I just feel there's all this time that can go towards working and developing these stories and such and it is SLIPPING AWAY and being WASTED. The thought of that drives me INSANE, it's just as frustrating to think about as not being able to shake the ideas loose in my head.
I am so pent-up feeling and frustrated and sad and angry I just. UGH. I don't know what to do at all. But I don't want to just stop and throw my pencils in the air or toss my computer out the window or something and sit there and weep and bemoan my art block. I'm trying really hard to keep going regardless, to continue drawing and writing. But this feeling is like trying to pass a damn creative kidney stone or something. It's torment. I know that sounds overly dramatic, but it really is, to have the ideas and not be able to get them out properly.
I wish I knew what to do. Ugh. Facedeskkkkk.