Hey Mitch, doesn't red wine give you a headache?
Yeah, eventually...but the first and the middle parts are amazing!
I love Mitch Hedberg!
"I think we should only get three honks a month on the car horn, because people honk the car horn too much. Three honks, that's the limit. Then somone cuts you off, you press your horn, nothing happens. You're like, "Shit! I wish I wouldn't have seen Ricky on the sidewalk!"
"I did not learn my AA BB CC's. God God Dammit Dammit!"
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."
"Ducks eat for free at Subway. Had I known that, I would have ordered a much larger sandwich...There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!!!"
"Fuck you, Real Estate Lady! This room has an oven in it!!!"
"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy. All day."
"You know when they show someone on TV washing their hair under a waterfall? That's fucking bullshit, man! That thing would knock you on your ass!"
"I saw this wino. He was eating grapes. It's like, 'Dude...you have to WAIT!'"
I love Mitch Hedberg!
"I think we should only get three honks a month on the car horn, because people honk the car horn too much. Three honks, that's the limit. Then somone cuts you off, you press your horn, nothing happens. You're like, "Shit! I wish I wouldn't have seen Ricky on the sidewalk!"
"I did not learn my AA BB CC's. God God Dammit Dammit!"
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."
"Ducks eat for free at Subway. Had I known that, I would have ordered a much larger sandwich...There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!!!"
"Fuck you, Real Estate Lady! This room has an oven in it!!!"
"Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy. All day."
"You know when they show someone on TV washing their hair under a waterfall? That's fucking bullshit, man! That thing would knock you on your ass!"
"I saw this wino. He was eating grapes. It's like, 'Dude...you have to WAIT!'"